As a lover of gay porn and porn stars, I have always been baffled by the attitudes and excuses given by gay for pay porn stars who say they only fuck guys for money. It takes me back to that ratchet ass 2009 episode of The Tyra Banks Show (which I posted after Christian's letter) when she had a few gay porn performers on her show that had every excuse in the book as to why they do gay porn. And don't get me started on the recent VH1 reality series I'm Married To A..... featuring Reese Rideout and his sad-looking wife making excuses for his gay porn career.
I have never believed that for one iota of a second and that there ain't enough money in the world that would get any heterosexual man to have sex with another man - let alone keep an erection for the long periods of time required to have on on a porn shoot. That being said rising porn star Christian Wilde recently wrote a letter on his blog shutting down all the perceptions people have of him as a gay-for-pay porn star. If only other porn performers were this honest with the actual belief that sex and sexuality is quite complex and not as black and white as mainstream socitey tries to make it. Check out the letter below...
Oh The Wonderful World of Human Sexuality...
So, many people out there have wondered and accused and guessed and made assumptions about what my sexuality is. And thanks to a wonderful fan named Royce, I decided to tell. So here’s the big reveal…
I like people.
It’s really that simple. I’m not gay. I’m not straight. I’m not bi. I LOVE FUCKING.
Sometimes it gets on my nerves a little about how black and white some people look at the nature of sex. “Oh he likes girls so he’s straight” “He sucks dick sometimes so he’s 100% gay” “He likes transexuals so that makes him weird.”
I’ve heard it all. Frankly, I gave up trying to explain myself a while ago, but I figured I could try to explain from my point of view.
My first homosexual experience was when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I used to play with the boy down the street. We’d kiss, blow each other, lick each others nipples… Its actually kind of funny to think about now. But there was no harm in it. No biggie to us as kids.
So fast forward, I then lost my virginity to a girl when I was thirteen. We were FAR too young to know what we were doing and I really wished I would’ve waited but hey, such is life. At this point in my life, I viewed myself as straight, never really having any ideas sexually about men (or rather boys around that time).
Fast forward even more, I had a friend when I was about 16 or so who was gay. He never really flirted with me or anything, until one day when we were at his house he asked if I wanted to watch some porn. Sure? Yeah? I like watching sex. So naturally being 16, my dick got hard as a rock. He noticed. And casually asked if I would like a blow job. Not having any experience like this I was wildly uncomfortable… But I really wanted a blow job. Hahaha. So he reassured me and said it would just be helping out a buddy, so I agreed. And it was amazing. Needless to say I went back a few more times.
After that, I had no more gay experiences for a while. Just straight ones. UNTIL…… My wonderful journey into gay porn. I actually started escorting for men first. Which was pretty exciting, and the money was great. One day, I escorted for the owner of a much disliked studio. I asked what he did for work, he showed me the site. I thought to myself, “I could do this.” And so I did. I began with that studio, which I’m grateful for because it introduced me to the amazing line of work I still have today.
So back to my point. In the beginning of my career, I had a very difficult time with telling friends and other people in my life what I was doing because these people had always known me as a “straight” guy and I was terrified of judgement. However to my relief, all my close friends told me they didn’t care and as long as I was happy, to go for it.
Some of my family still doesn’t know what I do but the important ones do. My mom, step dad, friends (who are like family) all love me because of who I am, not what I do. Not to say that porn is anything bad. But it does have a bit of a hard time in this world.
About 2 years into my career, I was introduced to fort lauderdale. All the way across the country, I would go there to shoot, and would be exhilarated with the excitement I felt of being able to be any way I wanted to be. I could make out with boys, flirt, suck some dick (off camera) and have a fucking ball.
Which has all led to the place I’m in now. I no longer give myself a hard time for being attracted to people that some other people may not approve of. If straight people want to give me shit for liking (loving) men, that’s just fine, if gay men want to hiss at me for liking (loving) women, thats just fine. Everyone is completely entitled to their opinion. The fact is, I love sex. I love everything about it. EVERYTHING. Its absolutely beautiful. Its so deep and complex and intricate. I’m of the belief that whatever you like, whatever turns you on, whatever you’re attracted to, whatever or whoever gets you off, BE PROUD OF THAT. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your sexuality is wrong. Love is the greatest gift we have on this earth we ever get to share with one another. SHARE IT HARD.
Love (hard)
Christian wilde
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