Another year another music video awards ceremony, honoring an art form that MTV hasn't shown on their network since George Bush Jr. won a second term in the White House. I'm going to try and keep it short and sweet by focusing on the performances of the night, because the performances and what your favorite celebs are wearing is all everyone cares about, right?
Anyways, Rihanna opened the show dressed like Grace Jones meets Joceline hernandez from Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. She rose from the top of a flight of stairs in a queen sized chair a la Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour performing the remix of her new single (and my favorite track off her Talk That Talk album) Cockiness (Love It) with A$ap Rocky. RiRi also did some sexy choreography (something she's not known for doing until recently in her Where Have You Been video) until she went into performing her huge hit We Found Love with Calvin Harris (who served as the award show's resident DJ). RiRi definitely got the party started.
Then it was time for host/comic Kevin Hart to do his thing and bring the funny. During the pre show, Kevin told Sway that when he gets on stage to do his thing, no one will be safe. When it was time to get the show started, Kevin made his entrance as the future president of the United States with little people acting as his secret service. As for the comedy...let's just say he was no Chris Rock. When Chris hosted the VMA's back in '99, we got funny shit like, "I see Jennifer on TV thanking her mama and daddy, the acting coach. Thank your ass, girl. Thank your ass before it goes solo, 'cause that ass is the star of the show. Jennifer is just the Commodores - the ass is Lionel Richie."
I felt that Kevin played it safe with jokes about the Chris Brown/Drake beef (both who were in the building), Frank Ocean's coming out and Kristin Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson. The funniest joke from Kevin was when he said MTV made a mistake by having Russell Brand host the VMA's twice. Maybe they thought the second time he would be funnier?
Anyways, back to the performances. My girl P!nk came on stage in black short-shorts, a white T-shirt and suspenders, giving fans a taste of her classic Get The Party Started before taking a ride across the crowd to perform her hot new single Blow Me (One Last Kiss) surrounded by giant lip bakc-up dancers. Not the most memorable P!nk VMA performance, but truly one of the highlights of the night.
Frank Ocean stood onstage barefoot in a black suit and gave one of the most emotional performances of the night by singing one of my favorite Channel Orange tracks, Thinking About You. I always say when you don't bring all the bells and whistles with you on stage it gives more of an emotional impact.
Some boy band that MTV heavily hyped all night called One Direction performed their huge hit One Thing which always reminds me of I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys everytime I hear it. Don't worry everybody. Ten years from now they'll be performing on Good Morning America and announcing that they'll be touring on a cruise ship near you.
Green Day added some much-needed punk rock energy to the show by singing their latest single Let Yourself Go and kudos for giving a shout out to jailed Russian punk band Pussy Riot.
Alicia Keys premiered her new single Girl On Fire (which is also the name of her upcoming album) with Nicki Minaj, and I thought the song would fit right at home on The Hunger Games soundtrack. It also doesn't hurt that one of the books in the Hunger Games trilogy is called Girl On Fire. I smell an endoursement deal! Personally I've never been much of an Alicia Keys fan, but where she lacks in strong vocal ability she does make it up in excellent piano skills and exquisite songwriting.
And last but certainly not least Taylor Swift closed the show. I've always been quite annoyed with her false modesty and the always shocked look on her face whenever she wins an award, but when she hit the stage to sing her new song We're Never Ever Getting Back Together, I thought to myself this is a great time to get up and go get shit-faced drunk. Taylor's music always brings the drunken messy whore side out of me. I severely hope that if she breaks up with Connor Kennedy that it's amicable, because there's no way that the powerful Kennedy's will allow her to air any of the family's dirty laundry in the form of a Country song.
Overall we got exactly what we would expect from the VMA's - A big clusterfuck of performances and lackluster jokes. Maybe it's time for MTV to stop playing it safe and stop putting energy around the same mainstream dime store divas and actually show some love to some artists out there who are willing to bring a fuck you attitude back to the music scene.
Check out the list of performances and winners below...
Rihanna, A$AP Rocky & Calvin Harris — ”Cockiness” / “We Found Love”
Pink — “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)”
Frank Ocean — ”Thinkin About You”
Green Day — "Let Yourself Go”
2 Chainz featuring Lil Wayne — ”Yuck” / “No Worries”
Alicia Keys featuring Nicki Minaj — “Girl On Fire”
VIDEO OF THE YEAR:
Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris, “We Found Love”
BEST NEW ARTIST:
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful”
BEST MALE VIDEO:
Chris Brown, “Turn Up The Music”
BEST FEMALE VIDEO:
Nicki Minaj, “Starships”
BEST POP VIDEO:
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful”
VIDEO WITH A MESSAGE:
Demi Lovato, “Skyscraper”
BEST ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC VIDEO:
Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close”
BEST HIP HOP VIDEO:
Drake featuring Lil Wayne, “HYFR”
BEST ROCK VIDEO:
Coldplay, “Paradise”
MOST SHARE-WORTHY VIDEO:
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful”
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