Neil Patrick Harris and his life partner actor/TV personality David Burtka grace the cover of Out's The Love Issue, and spill the tea on how they met (on a street corner), fell in love, raising a family, couples arguments and lots more.
On the first time he met David and fell head over heels:
I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean–type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away. I assumed he was Kate’s boyfriend and said, “Nicely done.” And she said, “David? He’s not playing on my team, but he has a boyfriend.” So, then I just kept seeing him on the periphery, and in turn, catching up on him, but I didn’t want to be that guy who was creating some sort of romantic interference. So, I was always around when he was around, hoping the stars would align. When we all hung out for the first time -- I was invited by Kate to an American Idol viewing party -- I just stammered around him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
There’s something kinetic about him and his being. He’s classically sexy, yet he’s very much a boy in his energy. It’s a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David’s the antithesis of that. He’s more like Tigger. I’m, in turn, very introspective -- the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We’re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We’re both Gemini. We both like the idea of family -- not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we’re incredibly opposite in the way we process information.
On deciding to have children together:
“Children were always talked about, but there was a certain point — when David was in L.A. and I was working on How I Met Your Mother, maybe season two or three — when we both agreed that if we wanted to have kids, we didn’t want to do it super late in the game. We wanted our parents to enjoy the process and to be young and vibrant enough to throw a ball with them, or to chase them around without using a walker. That was the eternal game-changer — now we rarely fight in the big ways. What’s the point? We’re in this for a major long haul.”
On falling in love with David:
“I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, “I think I love you,” and he was like, “That’s really nice,” which is not necessarily what you want to hear. But I appreciated his honesty in not jumping the gun and saying something because he felt obliged to.”
On the ups and downs of their relationship:
“So we talk things out. I don’t want to paint our relationship like we met and it’s been happy family fantastic-ness ever since. What defines a relationship is the work that’s involved to maintain it, and it’s constantly changing. Sometimes I’m deeply in love with David and head-over-heels, and sometimes I question whether it’s going to work out and is meant to be. It’s like a business relationship, as well as a personal one; we have a business together and that’s maintaining our love for one another.”
David on having kids with Neil:
“Even on that first date, we talked about kids. If he hadn’t wanted kids, I don’t think we’d be together. I always thought that family was the most important thing in life, and no matter what I do, whether being a chef or an actor or a dancer, being a dad is what I do best. I am the maternal one in the relationship. For the first year, I didn’t miss a nighttime or morning with them. I think it’s important to have other lives and feed your relationship, but it’s also important that your children are raised by you. We named Gideon after an artist we collect, Gideon Rubin, and Harper after Harper Lee. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of our favorite books.”
my Thoughts: What I love about Neil and David's relationship is that although Neil is an out and proud gay man, he has found a way not to make his sexuality a political weapon, like so many actors do once they come out. He has that rare quality where he can play a straight man on TV while being openly gay in real life and not have people think twice about it. I also love the fact that David and Neil don't act like poster children for gay relationships, a task I've noticed many other gay celebrities take on. They are who they are and live their own truth. If you don't like it, it's not a problem they need to stress themselves over. An honest couple who do the best they can on their own terms.
For the entire NPH/David Burtka interview, click here, andfor other couples, including a spread on porn star couple Samuel Colt and Chris Porter, click here
No comments:
Post a Comment