After failing an audition to be a recurring member on Pit Boss, advocating the overuse of spray tanner, and having hair bigger than a drag queen on acid, Christina Aguilera has officially passed her M-CUNT exam on transofming into the singing version of Snooki. Give mama a moment to explain. Ms. Aguilera, who has been slowly spinning out of control with many recent reports of her drunken tirades, may have finally caught up with her. TMZ is reporting that Xtina's hot mess of a boyfriend Matthew Runtler was arrested for a DUI while the singer's ass was put in handcuffs for public intoxication. Below is the police report:
Aguilera was arrested at 2:45 AM and booked at the West Hollywood Sheriff's substation on a misdemeanor charge. On the booking report, Aguilera was listed at 5'2" and 100 pounds.
Aguilera's 25-year-old boyfriend Matthew Rutler was also arrested last night at the same time for a misdemeanor offense. According to the L.A. County Sheriff's Department, Rutler's bail was set at $30,000.
Law enforcement sources tell us Aguilera appeared to be "extremely intoxicated" and was "unable to take care of herself." However, the source adds, "If the driver had NOT been arrested for DUI, [Christina] would have never been in trouble."
As big as she is, there's no way she's 100 pounds. Bitch looks like a caked-up butterball on her way to the brothel. But that's not all. P!nk, who I thought squashed her longtime feud with Xtina when they talked briefly about babies on the radio show On Air with Ryan Seacrest twatted the following message:
“Out of Myself, Britney, and Christina- didn’t everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! No CUFFS!!”
Maybe the reason why P!nk is more level-headed than Britney and Xtina is because she's always been herself regardless of what her label and the media asked of her. Britney is clearly a mainstream puppet, and Xtina has always tried so hard to stand out amongst her pop contemporaries.Sources close to Xtina report they have been trying to get the singer into a rehab program for weeks. If her ex-husband Jordan Bratman was smart, he'd be taking Xtina to court to fight for full custody. She's clearly not in a state to properly mother her child when she's having a difficult time dealing with poor album sales, a failed tour, a kaput divorce, and a flop movie called Borelesque. The time has come for Xtina to reevaluate her life and revamp her fledgling career.
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