I'm going to keep is as brief as I possibly can regarding the MTV Awards last night. The show as a whole was a hot mess! The only good performances last night was by Usher, Florence & The Machine and Drake, who was upstaged by Mary J. Blige and looked quite overwhelmed performing on such a large stage. Usher seemed to be the only one who knew how to work the entire stage. Chelsea Handler, who I love, did a great job with what she was allowed to get away with (getting out of the hot tub with the cast of Jersey Shore while pregnant was priceless).
As for the lady of the evening, you have to be living under an intergalactic rock to not know she won eight of her thirteen moonmen, Bad Romance clearly becoming the big winner. After seeing her contant ridiculous costume changes, I litaerally wanted to take those arrows off her head and shoot the bitch where it hurts (in her tuck, of course). But when Cher came out in her classic see-through outfit from "Turn Back Time," she basically gave that amateur rip-off artist an education without even having to say a word. And you know Lady Illuminati was full of shit when she claimed she didn't plan out the costumes. The bitch plans everything. Don't get caught up in the matrix of her bullshit. Oh and really with the title of your new album? Born which way Gaga? For someone who went to private school with Paris & Nicki Hilton, and was known for not being the outcast she claims, is going to name her album "I was Born This Way." Why isn't her "monsters" questioning everything she does. I feel like that episode of Angel when Jasmine was birthed from Cordelia and I accidentally got her blood on me and I'm the only one who truly sees this fake, pretentious cunt for who she is.
There were more bad performances than good. Rihanna, who flat out lied when she said she wasn't going to be able to perform at the VMA's (you know after that interview with ET Def Jam put her alien ass on the first flight to L.A.) showed up and basically proved that she has the vocal ability to kill the precious ears of angelic doves. Lesbieber, who is clearly going through the change of life (maxi pads and all) lip sang for his life and proved that he is in fact ready to graduate Sigma Cum Loudly at the Usher School for Showmanship. The chirruns didn't care that Lesbieber got his Britney on. it wasn't like they were paying attention to their singing. But what I really want to get into is that overhyped studio rapper Harajuku Barbie.
I really don't get why she's getting so much buzz. Every live performance I have seen by her has been a flat out disappointment. And wearing a couple of Lil Kim's old Goodwill wigs and getting the Kim KardASSian special at your plastic surgeon's office is not going to change that. And don't get me started on Max Headcoon. I understand you want to play this futuristic robot role that you've been playing with the current BEP record, but when you're already a crispy critter and go head and spray yourself blacker than Snooki at Happy Hour, we clearly have a problem. And as for Taylor Swift, I still to this day stand by my belief that if Kanye didn't suck down all that brown juice and rain on her parade, she wouldn't be getting all this attention. Kanye clearly became the ultimate villain, Taylor the innocent princess who needed to be rescued. We as an American society always need to play our lives out like we're in the movies, with good and evil always at the core. Now that all has been fogiven, what Kanye needs to do is go back in the lab and make a far better song than toasting to his people.
2 comments:
I loved this....i agree with everything you said! They need to fucking do something on these award shows...they are getting boring like hell!!!!
I watched Chelsea Lately the day after the VMA's and she was talking about how drunk everyone got and a great time was had by all. I was like "well it would have been nice if all your fun translated to my fucking television."
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