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NEW VIDEO: BEYONCE - HALO & DIVA

Since YouTube loves removing anything remotely interesting from their site, thinking folks are gonna steal videos and shit, I had to go to MTV.com to get the video for Beyonce's latest double-sided videos, Halo & Diva. BTW, Michael Ealy's looking too fine in the Halo video.

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW: BRITNEY CHALLENGE

Just got around to watching Thursday's episode of my favorite show, Maerica's Best Dance crew. This weeks challenge had the crews dancing to classic Britney songs. they had to bring Britney's essence to the choreography, as well as bring their own style to it. the following videos are my favorites of the night. Quest Crew, Strikers All Stars, Beat Freaks and Team Millinnia. i was sad to see Team Millinnia go, but it was a toos up between them and Brooklyn's crew. Honestly , I think that clogging crew needs to go. Quest Crew was my favorite, because they danced to Toxic and when Ryan came out vogueing and ended with the pop/slam, it was OVAH for me. Watch it all go down below:

America's Best Dance Crew (Season 3) - MTV Shows

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NEW VIDEO: THE KILLERS - SPACEMAN

GRACE JONES DOES V MAGAZINE

The Iconic Grace Jones brings the fierce, as she pairs with PHOTOGRAPHER JEAN-PAUL GOUDE for the V Magazine #57 Spring Preview 2009 issue. What I love about Grace is that when it comes to fashion, she does whatever the hell she wants and can get away with it, because her style is just as wacky as her personality. She is truly one of the living icons of our time. Love love love her!

SOME BLIND ITEMS, Y'ALL!

This celebrity couple has been together for a few years now. They have at least one child together. Earlier in their relationship, she had an affair, a baby was born, and the couple continued their relationship. As the child gets older, however, it is becoming more and more apparent that the child very strongly resembles the fling. In fact, if you compare the photos of the celebrity child to childhood photos of the fling, they look like two peas in a pod. And, yes, the fling is a celebrity too, although not as high profile as the celebrity couple. (Blind Gossip)

I'm going to go with Tom & Katie on this one. I still believe that Suri is Chris Klien's kid.

This star tweener actress very recently had a procedure done which avoided the need for a shotgun wedding or awkward questions when doing her next press tour. It also probably saved her the explanation to her current boyfriend about why the baby was not going to look like him. (CDAN)


My first guess would have been Bristol Palin, but that bitch ain't famous. Then I was about to guess Jamie Lynn Spears, but then I got to the "press tour" part. That bitch don't work. So I'm going to go with Miley.

GET READY TO RUMBLE: HOT COCO VS. WENDY HO

If you happened to catch Tuesday night's episode of Nip/Tuck, Jennifer Coolidge made an appearance as a ghetto-fied white rapper named Hot Coco with a track called YO STINK.

Now if anyone who's been a faithful reader and follower of the Kris Avalon blog, you'll notice the video, style, and song resembles a track done last year by NYC comic/rapper Wendy Ho. To be fair, both songs made me laugh like you have no idea, but if there was a real battle between the two, Wendy would win hands down. Only because she did it first.

FAYE DUNAWAY SOUNDS OFF ON BONNIE & CLYDE REMAKE

If you guys haven't heard already, Hollyweird is continuing their warpath of grinding classic films into caca. Their latest victim is a little film by the name of Bonnie & Clyde. The flick is said to star Hilary Duff and Kevin Zegers as the title characters. The original starred a very young Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty.

This is the shit that pisses me off like you have no idea. Hilary Duff is the successor to Faye Dunaway? and who the fuck is Kevin Zegers?

Well it seems Faye Dunaway feels the same way I do, because according to the Chicago Sun-Times, when she was told about it, she said, ''Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?''

You know, sometimes the truth hurts. And anyone who works on this shit will burn in a fiery hell. May their skin be ripped off by rusty chains, just like a scene out of Hellraiser.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO BABY JANE

She became the mess that is Courtney Love. Someone's been watching way to many Bette Davis movies, because Courtney took to her myspace blog to ask everyone this burning question. You like my bawwdee? Oh wait, that's Anna Nicole Smith. What she really wanted to know is, do u like my new hair color?

It's not bad, but honestly I prefer Courtney as a blonde. Either way, blonde or brunette, there is no cure for looking like a hot four-alarm orange alert mess.

IT'S OFFICIAL! DANITY KANE HAVE CALLED IT QUITS

I tried holdng off on this story for as long as I could, but as the new season of Making the Band approaches, it seems that Danity Kane have officially broken up. After firing D. Woods and Aubrey (who looks as if she's ready to take the crown Jenna Jameson once owned), and Shannon Bex quitting, all that's left is Dawn and Aundrea to pick up the pieces. Fans will get to see it all go down when the season premieres on February 12th.

"As of right now, [Danity Kane doesn't exist]," Dawn Richard told MTV News on Wednesday. "It's devastating for me."

"You'll see me and Drea [Aundrea Fimbres] try and pick up the pieces on our own [on this season's show] — pieces that we didn't even make," she continued. "We didn't even break it and we're trying to sweep it up ourselves. Puff invited all the girls to come back on this season and they chose not to. Only two of us showed up. That's fine if that's the choice.


"It changes [our situation] completely," she said. "We have fans out there who love Danity Kane. We love Danity Kane. It's hard. We're sitting here trying to make sense of it now. It's hard. We're put in this position that we didn't ask to be in and we're being told to fix it."

These girls seriously need to work it out. Last time I checked, if you're bound by a contract aren't you supposed to be stuck together until that contract is fufilled? I could care less about Day 26 or Donnie, two artists who's cd's flopped. This season is gonna be wack! I will check it out only to check out my girl Dawn.

MTV Shows

ROCK OF LOVE CONTESTANT IS A PORN STAR & A RACIST

I'm about to admit something I'd normally would be embarrased to admit, but I don't give a fuck. i have an addiction to VH1'a celebreality shows. Honestly, the drama and the contunuous catfights are better than any of that wack shit MTV's currently showing.

Anyways, Natasha, the tranny looking Midori reject on Rock Of Love Bus, said in the beginning of the show that she had a career as a dominatrix. Well she may not have been entirely truthful.

You see - apparently Natasha has an interesting side career. The only African American chick with the hard, raggedy weave moonlights as a porn star. And get this -won't do scenes with Black people. That's because I don't know many black men willing to bend over and take 10 inches of hard man meat up their chute!

RUPAUL CALLS LL COOL J HOMOPHOBIC

RuPaul is currently out and about promoting his new reality competition series called "Drag Race." The drag icon recently stopped to chat with journalist Clay Cane to talk about working with rapper LL Cool J during the filming of his 1990s TV show In The House:


Interviewer CLAY CANE: You did an episode of LL Cool J's "In the House" back in the nineties. How was that working with him?

RU PAUL: It was hideous and horrible. He made it so difficult because he was so afraid. He was afraid that he made everyone else on the set not enjoy it themselves either. In fact, when I was ready to leave the show because he was ignorant, they all said, "Look, please stay, we have been dealing with his fear for so long that it's become unbearable."



Just last week he had gotten into an altercation with someone about the OJ verdict because he believed that OJ was innocent and something happened on the set. So, I stayed, I did my episode, but to do this work, to excel on this planet, you have to be almost part therapist. Part psychology major to understand what's behind people's motives.

He had said some really nasty stuff, he was all surly at the table reading -- just fearful and ignorant. I understand, but they're not paying me that much money, I don't want to be around it. But, they begged me to stay and I did it. I'm glad I did.

Ru should have thought that maybe the reason why LL was ignorant towards him, because if he would have shown him any kind of love, friendship or otherwise, his little secret would have been discovered. It's funny I sat on this story for quite a long time. I happen to know someone who is very good friends with Ru, and while we were hanging out having drinks on his roof over the summer, he told me this story that you're reading about now.(among others. There is a time and place for me to reveal such gossip). And don't get me to testifying about LL hitting on a friend of mine while in church! Yes honey, you read that right. The beck room of some dingy bar ain't the only place you can get on your knees and praise some dick!
I'm really hoping that LL has matured since then, and don't worry boo boo. Your LEGENDARY secret is safe amongst the faggots (as well as Miss Latifah's).

KANYE THE CAPS CRUSADER STRIKES AGAIN!

Kanye was recently in Paris, taking in fashion week, and wants everyone to know how it all went down. Here is Kanye’s Latest Blog Rant:

“THIS IS MY LAST DAY IN PARIS AND IT’S BEEN CRAZY. I’VE MET SO MANY DOPE PEOPLE. I FEEL SO INSPIRED BY THE TRIP… I’VE BEEN THINKING OF RAPS, BEATS, CLOTHES, VIDEOS ,STAGE DESIGNS AND PHILOSOPHIES … I ALWAYS FEEL MY BEST WORK IS MY NEXT WORK… I’VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I’VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I’VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I’VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I’VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY… WHEN ENCAPSULATED IN AN IDEA OR BOX LIKE A STAGE OR SHOE DESIGN I CREATE MAGIC… WHEN LEFT FREE SOMETIMES I BURN THINGS… IT’S THE NATURE OF A TRUE ARTIST… I AM NOT PERFECT AND I WILL NEVER BE WHAT I WAS TAUGHT MY WHOLE LIFE AND THAT WAS TO BE “CHRIST LIKE”… I’M FINE WITH JUST BEING THE BEST ME! I ACCEPT AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM. I WILL NEVER ATTACK NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THEIR ENERGY…I FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DON’T THINK FOR THEMSELVES BUT MERELY BASE THEIR OPINIONS ON WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT. LIFE IS A GAME! IF EVERYONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS DOING IT THERE WOULD BE NO CHALLENGE THEREFORE NO GAME. IT IS THE CRACK IN THE WALL THAT ALLOWS LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH… SOOO THANK YOU SENSATIONAL NEWS REPORTERS … THANK YOU GOSSIP SITES… THANK YOU BARBER SHOPS… THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO THRIVES ON THE DOWNFALL OF OTHERS FOR I WILL NOT FALL!!! YOUR PESSIMISM IS MY POWER… YOUR PRESUMPTIONS LEAD TO MY REDEMPTIONS … I DON’T LIKE THE OBVIOUS… I LIKE THE TENSION… I LIVE FOR THE FIGHT… I AM A SOLDIER OF FREE THOUGHT IN A CLOSED MINDED WORLD AND I AM READY FOR WAR… I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING SO I AM FEARLESS … YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE UP AGAINST… I WILL SPARK A GENERATION OF THINKERS WHO WILL QUESTION TRADITIONAL THOUGHT UNTIL THEY FIND THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMEONE TO PROVE WRONG AS I HAVE DONE FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE… YOU FEEL THE WORLD WILL NEVER CHANGE.. YOU FEEL MISERY IS THE ONLY COMPANY… AND I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU ALL WRONG… (I’LL GIVE THE SECRET TO MY DEMISE FOR ALL THAT WISH I WOULD JUST DROP DEAD…. ACCEPTANCE!!… IF YOU COULD FINISH MY SENTENCES THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO START THEM. ) THANK YOU PARIS ONCE AGAIN FOR ALLOWING ME ACCESS TO THE GREATEST ARTISTS AND DESIGNERS THIS EARTH HAS TO OFFER… THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION BECAUSE GENIUS LOVES COMPANY”

THE THIRD COMING OF THE APOCOLYPSE IS AMUNG US

Okay bitches, time to break out the protective salt to ward of demons, because during this morning's Hot Topics, Elizabitch announced she's currently pregnant with her third spawn of Satan by husband, former NFL quarterback Tim Hasselbeck.

"We are thankful for such great news and will begin planning our zone defense strategy immediately," Elisabeth said.

"This time... we were shocked that we got pregnant," she said. "But the first two times, it was difficult for me to get pregnant."

"The View" panelist already has two children, 15-month-old Taylor Thomas and 3-year-old Grace Elisabeth.

The baby is due sometime in August. Congrats on bringing yet another child into the world and may you continue to hone your parenting skills by reading how-to books.

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I for one do not condone barebacking, but this is a hot video so that's why I'm posting it.

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KELLY ROWLAND DROPS MASSA KNOWLES AS HER MANAGER

One down, one more to go (yeah, I'm talking about you Michelle). Well it's about damn time Kelly finally came to her senses and dropped Matthew Knowles like a hot potato.

It always seemed to bother me that Kelly and Michelle continued to stick with Matthew even after the disbandment of Destiny's Child. Did they feel they owed some kind of loyalty to him or something? their careers continued to stay in the middle of the road, while Beyonce's continued to flourish.



It really didn't seem to me that he had all their careers at heart. Hell, even Solange is playing fourth fiddle to her own sister, who seems can do no wrong. It's too bad that we won't be getting any dirt slung between these two since their split seems to be amicable.

"After a very positive meeting between Kelly Rowland and myself, we have amicably agreed to end our professional relationship," Knowles said in the statement. "My company, Music World, will continue to manage Destiny's Child as a group. As an artist, Kelly has incredible talent and I only wish her the best. We will always be family first and foremost, and as a dad I only have love for Kelly."



Rowland expressed her gratitude to Knowles. "Matthew Knowles has been a positive influence in my career," Kelly said. "I have had great success under his guidance--both as a member of Destiny's Child and with my solo projects. Although we have decided to part ways professionally, the Knowles family and the entire Music World Entertainment team will always be my family."

Everyone takes Matthews calls in the industry, and he's definitely a force to be reconed with. If this was all true, then why wasn't she selling records? Both cd's "Simply Deep" and "Miss Kelly" flopped in record stores. It just looked very obvious to me that Matthew was more interested in turning Beyonce into a global superstar rather than concentrating on kelly and Michelle. And these two didn't seem to mind sitting in the background like a bunch of backup singers, instead of taking control of their careers. Kelly is very talented and has potential to become a superstar in her own right. It's just sad it took her this long to realize that. maybe she should give Benny Medina, Johnny Wright or Larry Rudolph a call.

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WARNING: MAY CAUSE PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE AND SIGHT LOSS

Ready to burn a few more brain cells without the help of cigaweed? Well, you know the world has officially gone to shit when Herpes Hilton is given one of her favorite phalluses, a microphone to act like she's Nancy O' Dell for five fucking minutes. It was blond-on-blond blasphemy when someone got their first dim lightbulb moment EVER and allowed Herpes Hilton to interview Lady GagMe backstage in some run down storage room after a concert at a London club. Someone should really inform dumb ass that you cannot become a fucking Icon after one cd. It takes YEARS to get that title. The only reason Herpes likes her is because GagMe said she liked her in some interview. Desperate for friends much? And is it just me, but why does Herpetica talk like she's gargling cum all the time? Okay, stupid me, i just answered my own question. You see, I told you the video kills brain cells.

RICKY MARTIN AND TWINS TAKE A STROLL IN CENTRAL PARK

Ricky Martin took his twin boys Valentino and Matteo went for a stroll in Central Park last week. This is the twins' first public appearance since he showed them off in People magazine, saying:

"I don't have a nanny. I'm doing this on my own because I don't want to miss a moment. I have a personal assistant who helps me, someone who takes care of me while I'm taking care of them, but I'm the one who changes the diapers, the one that feeds them, the one that bathes them, the one that puts them to sleep. For any parent, the first couple of months tend to get a little bit intense...Adoption was one option, but it's complicated and can take a long time. Surrogacy was an intriguing and faster option. I thought, 'I'm going to jump into this with no fear.'...I love to read books to my sons and tell them stories. I play music for them so they develop their own personalities. I want to give them information and raise them with honesty and love, and give them self-esteem and a lot of acceptance."

All I have to say is, "awww que cuuuuute." I think Ricky looks dashing as a dad, and I'm glad he's willing to put his career on hold to take care of his sons. Still wondering if the assistant who's helping him happens to be a boytoy of his?

Also if there was a contest between hot latin twins of famous celebrities (aka JLo's kids vs. Ricky's kids), I'd give it to Ricky hands down. At least with him, his reasoning for having children isn't from a selfish place like they're some sort of accessory, which is how I believe Jello looks at EVERYTHING, including Skeletor.

GAY CONTESTANT INTRODUCES FIANCEE ON WHEEL OF FORTUNE

It's been a long time since I've watched Wheel of Fortune, but is this the first time they've had a gay contestant on who introduced their fiancee on tv?

JASON BOURNE HATES JAMES BOND

It seems that ever since the creators of the Bond franchise rebooted the series to look more like a Jason bourne flick, Matt Damon has his titties in a twist. He recently bitched to the Miami Herald (via UsWeekly), "They could never make a James Bond movie like any of the Bourne films. Because Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women and swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive."



To be honest, I like both films. I thought the Bourne films were good, and I enjoy the Bond series depending on how good the film is. Daniel Craig is sexy, whereas Matt Damon is all about business and getting his memory back. When they film the fourth one with Jason bourne in some sexy briefs, then we'll be talking. Otherwise, I really don't care how repulsive anyone is. At least Bond's getting laid while Bourne is running around like a frustrated teenager with blue balls.

AN EDUMACATIONAL HISTORY LESSON FROM LES MISERALBA

The once hot, but now annoying troll known as Jessica Alba has decided to go the Kanye/Diddy/Asslee Simpson/Lezzie HoHan route by posting her rants in a blog. Here's how all the drama started.

Last week or so, Les Miseralbatross acted like her usual know-it-all mega cunt self to some reporter during an event in DC. She asked him a question about Obama and he didn't want to answer, because he said he's a journalist. She didn't take too lightly to the journalist's response and told him to "be neutral - be Sweden about it." TMZ later called her what she really is, a "ditz" for saying Sweden instead of Switzerland.

Also last week, while still on her warpath, Les MiserAlba called Bill O'Reilly an a-hole. Bill responded by basically saying she was a dumb-fucking-fake-ass-don't-call me-latina bitch, but he used the word "misguided" instead. I mean, Bill O Reilly is an asshole. Just like MiserAlba is an evil fucking cunt. We know all this, so why must she state the obvious?

Here's MiserAlba's blog response:


Last week, Mr. Bill O'Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people...it's so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!

Now first of all, everyone who actually went to college (or even knows how to use a computer) knows full and well that you don't use Wikipedia as a reliable source. In fact, the internet as a whole is not a reliable source when it comes to information (except when you read krisavalon122.blogspot.com, of course).

The gloves came off for TMZ and typed out this response to her: "She is absolutely correct. Sweden was a neutral country ... 60 years ago. We apologize for not considering the political climate of the world in 1942 when we suggested she may have meant, 'Be Switzerland' -- a country that is currently neutral." Now if that's not a read, i don't know what is.

All this talk about Sweden has me craving Ikea Swedish meatballs. Or as MiserAlba would call them "neutral balls," something she hasn't had since unwantingly getting knocked up by Ca$hhole Warren.

WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS???

After the mantyhose, skirts for men, bras for bros, girdles for guys, and Spanx for men who want to keep their stretchmarks and fat hidden failed to catch on, designers are still trying to turn men into fucking bitches by inventing lacy garter belts for men. Maybe this shit would work for crossdressers, drag queens, models strutting the runway for John Galliano (as the pic demonstrates above), or even dancers in a Madonna or Kylie concert, but like all those other ridiculous trends, i seriously doubt this shit will catch on in the male community. This, like acid wash jeans and big Jersey hair filled with Aquanet need to go back into the vault and stay there.

The A Team Go Go Boyz in Puerto Vallarta for Club Papi Nov 08

Check out the A Team Go Go boys, Club Papi's starting line up as they tear it up in Puerto Vallarta once again.

TRAILER TRASH: STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI

Based on the legendary video game by Capcom, STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI brings a new dimension to a world and characters beloved by millions. Devastated by the kidnapping of her father, Chun-Li takes to the streets of Hong Kong, embarking on an epic quest for justice - and hurtling toward a confrontation with a seemingly unstoppable foe. The film stars Kristin Kreuk, Neal McDonough, Chris Klein, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Moon Bloodgood and was directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak

TRAILER TRASH: DRAGONBALL EVOLUTION

Here's the exclusive trailer for the Dragonball Z movie titled Dragonbal Evolution.
The story begins with Goku, who seeks out upon his adoptive grandfather Grandpa Gohan's dying request to find the great Master Roshi and gather all seven Dragon Balls. Of which he has one, in order to prevent the evil Piccolo from succeeding in his desire to use the Dragon Balls to take over the world. And Goku's quest is to obtain the mystical Dragonballs before Piccolo does. "



I'm sorry to say (well not really), but I'm sick and tired of Hollyweird casting white kids in Asian roles. Dragonball was not created with any white people in mind. It's just their way of still thinking that people of color cannot sell movie tickets. When it comes to genre films, that has nothing to do with a major name in the role. As long as they stay somewhat faithful to the series, a good script is written, and the special efects is cool, the fans will come. It's like when I was watching 90210 last week and all these white girls were desperate to play the Queen of the Nile. Last time I checked, Cleopatra was a black woman. Oh, and so was Jesus.

TRAILER TRASH: LESBIAN VAMIPRE KILLERS

Now this is my kind of movie. This new British comedy/horror vampire film about two friends who find themselves stuck in a village where all the women have been enslaved by a vampire curse. It's supposed to be released overseas in march, and so far no American distributors have taken on this film. And I thought horny uptight heterosexuals loved lesbians?

EL ZOMBO PHANTASMA COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

Death Ray Films and Maya Entertainment have teamed up to bring the acclaimed Dark Horse comic book "El Zombo Fantasma" to the big screen.

"El Zombo Fantasma," published by Dark Horse Comics in 2005 and created by David Wilkins and Kevin Munroe, will be produced under the Death Ray Films banner recently formed by Chris Patton, Kevin Munroe and Robert Sanchez who are currently in production on War Monkeys.

The story follows the mysterious murder of the world's most notorious Mexican wrestler who bargains his way out of an eternity of fiery damnation by returning to Los Angeles to play guardian angel to a troublesome teen, Belisa Montoya. He soon discovers that the teen is not what she seems and that their fates have been intertwined for centuries.

Death Ray Films and Maya Entertainment will bring tales of the undead masked wrestler to multiple mediums starting with the live action feature followed by a new animated series. Kevin Munroe will write and direct with Chris Patton and Robert Sanchez producing. Wilkins and Munroe will co-produce. Mike Richardson will executive produce for Dark Horse Entertainment. Jose Martinez and Kellvin Chavez will produce along with Academy Award nominee Moctesuma Esparza who will executive produce for Maya Entertainment.

I am most definitely looking forward to seeing this on the big screen. Comic books and wrestling? How can you go wrong? And I ain't talking about that WWE fake bullshit you see on tv. You guys have no idea how excited I was to see two Mexican free wrestlers in the horror sequel Feast 2. Yea they were midgets, but who cares? And the ginormous dick on the brother who wore the mask was hilarious! Now getting back to El ZOmbo, it's great that not only are we getting a gay superhero but a Latino one as well. All the atterntion can't go to Batman and Spiderman. There are so many interesting characters and stories that need to be told. As far as casting goes, I have no idea who can play El Zombo (maybe Ron Pearlman or Benicio Del Toro), and as far as directing goes how about Robert Rodriguez? Quentin Tarantino when he's done with Inglorious Basterds? I would say Guillermo Del Toro, but he's beyond busy with The Hobbit for the next few years.

SIX G.I. JOE POSTERS REVEALED!

Courtesy of MySpace, Paramount Pictures has debuted six new character posters for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, scheduled to hit theaters on August 7. Directed by Stephen Sommers, the action-adventure stars Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Byung Hun Lee, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Said Taghmaoui, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans and Dennis Quaid. The posters feature (in the following order) Duke (Tatum), Ripcord (Wayans), The Baroness (Miller), Scarlett (Nichols), Snake Eyes (Park), and Storm Shadow(Lee). This is a show I grew up on and watched faithfully as soon as I got home from school, so it better be good. Check out the posters below:

WARNER BROS. TO RESURRECT TOMB RAIDER FRANCHISE

Warners Bros. Pictures and producer Dan Lin (upcoming Sherlock Holmes) are in early development on a a reboot of "Tomb Raider," the popular video game action franchise featuring Lara Croft.

Paramount previously made the two movies based on the game, but the rights have since reverted to Eidos. When Time Warner upped its stake to 19.92% in Eidos in December, films rights to the property were included as part of the deal.

Lin will produce the project via his Lin Pictures while Stephen Gilchrist will co-produce; Ian Livingstone of Eidos will executive produce.

The new project, however, is expected to revamp the character and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain.

As an open-writing assignment, the project is still in its nascent stages. An actress who could play the role Angelina Jolie made famous would likely come on after a writer and director are attached.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

I loved Angelina as Lara. I thought she did an amazing job. The accent was questionable, but Angelina has definitely proven herself as a capable action heroine. It was the movies that were terrible. I always saw the Tomb Raider film franchis with so much potential, but I think the filmmakers were more interested in creating masturbatory material for 12 year olds instead of creating an interesting action story. I say more dark adventures with more action, and less cartoony craziness. If they bring Angelina back, that would be cool since she was amazing in Wanted. If not might I suggest Rhona Mitra or even Zoe Bell as the new Lara Croft? Rhona was the original inspiration for the videogames, so she's absolutely perfect, if you've seen her in action in flicks such as Doomsday and Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

DMX APPOLOGIZES FOR IDENTITY THEFT HOSPITAL SNAFU

Embattled rapper DMX “had no intention” of committing identity fraud after checking into an Arizona hospital under a false name last year (08) - he simply wanted to avoid attracting more attention than necessary. The Party Up (Up In Here) star, real name Earl Simmons, went to Scottsdale Mayo Clinic last April to receive treatment for pneumonia. However, he was later charged with theft and taking the identity of another after using the alias Troy Jones and leaving before settling the $7,500 (£5,300) medical bill. But his close pal and former road manager Mark ‘Po’ Dean, who accompaniedDMX to the hospital and gave nurses the fake name, insists the crimes weren’t committed on purpose. He tells XXL magazine, “I wanted him to just get the service immediately… Usually when you say an artist like DMX, everybody is so star-struck they not concentrating on what’s going on.” And Dean claims they left the clinic when other patients started recognising the rapper - and only after he had given his cell phone number to the receptionist to sort out the bill. He adds, “(The police) ran up in his (DMX’s) crib saying that they was looking for papers from the hospital because he used a false name… It wasn’t really that.” The hip-hop star is currently in jail awaiting sentencing after entering a guilty plea to four charges of animal cruelty, drug possession and theft in three separate cases.

JEEZY RUNNING LIKE A BITCH

Earlier this week, I reported Young Jeezy would accept Bill O’Reilly’s challenge by appearing on his show. But on Tuesday, a spokeswhore for the rapper told MTV News that Jeezy’s vague comments about possibly appearing on “The O’Reilly Factor” were taken out of context by media outlets, and he has not formally accepted an invitation to appear on the show. “O’Reilly Factor” producer Ron Mitchell told MTV News on Tuesday that the offer to Young Jeezy still stands. Jeezy explained to MTV News during inauguration week that he felt it was necessary for him to write “My President.”

This is why i say these rappers are so damn fake. Y'all have no problem shooting someone or going to jail for a little street credibility, but you scared of some fucking Republikkkan Irish dude from Long Island?

NEW MUSIC: RIHANNA F. AKON - EMERGENCY ROOM

This track is alleged to be the first single off of RiRi's upcoming untitled cd.

MADONNA TOUR DVD NEWS

According to fansite MadonnaOnline Brasil is reporting that Madonna's Sticky & Sweet Tour will be released on DVD in March.

The DVD will be released via Univeral Music and is reported to be a double disc DVD!

Since I wasn't able to go this year (unlike some of you who have $4oo.oo to burn on a Vadge concert) I will catch it on DVD.

VIDEO: BEHIND THE SCENES OF MADONNA MARC JACOBS LOUIS VUITTON SHOOT

You've seen the infamous photos. Now go behind the scenes to see how it was all done.

KAT DELUNA F. LIL WAYNE - UNSTOPPABLE

Kat is the latest artist to try to get major hit success by collaborating with hot rapper of the moment Lil Wayne. She must think he's going to catapult her to Beyonce/Rihanna status.

BEYONCE CHANNELS STORM FOR HOUSE OF DIARRHEA AD

Bey shot this Spring 2009 promo in Bermuda, while Solange I'm sure was sharpening her claws way down in the basement somewhere, getting ready to re-enact that psychological thriller Beyonce's about to come out with starring Ali Larter. Solange must be the bastard seed, because you never see her in any of the stuff that has to do with the Knowles family. Check out the video below:

BRITNEY "CIRCUS" SET LIST HAS LEAKED

As we get closer to Britney's tour, her setlist is the latest to leak on the internet via BreatheHeavy.com. Check out the list below (tracks subject to change). From the way the show is broken up in parts, looks as if Jamie King's giving Britney a little bit of that Madonna fever.

ACT I:
Superwoman
Break The Ice video
Womanizer
Stronger
Shattered Glass
Radar

ACT 2: Paparazzi
Mona Lisa video
Lucky (soul)
Medley: My Prerogative/Oops
Kill The Lights
Piece of Me

ACT 3: Amy / club
If U Seek Amy video
Do Somethin' / Freakshow medley
Get Naked
Me Against The Music video (possible Madonna appearance)
Slave 4 U / Mannequin medley
If U Seek Amy (2 versions)

ACT 4: Afterparty
Blur video
Unusual You
Mmm Papi

ACT 5: Classical
My Baby, piano
Sometimes, choir?
Out From Under

ACT 6: Circus
It's Britney, bitch video
Gimme More
Toxic
Baby One More Time
Circus (encore)

Check out the hot Jayma club edit of Circus below:

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COULD AALIYAH BE THE CAUSE OF THE JAY Z/DAME DASH FEUD?

I know everyone who follows hip hop (like I do) has been wondering why Jay Z and Dame Dash, two former friends who ran Roc A Fella Records together for years, are feuding, According to Choke No Joke, a love triangle with a former R&B singer may have been the cause of their disbandment.

Choke No Joke spoke exclusively with Hip Hop Weekly on the very thing that did them in:

Both Jay and Dame was involved with a certain R&B singer, who I'm not gonna say her name out of respect 'cause she ain't around to defend herself, but I believe that was a part of the initial friction.

I was seeing Jay with her back around 2000, then Dame was with her after. All you have to do is look at the movie they did, Death of a Dynasty.

In the movie they were fighting over a model. In real life she was a model, but singing is what she was known for first.

Well if this was a blind item, everyone who is good at clue could figure out they were talking about Aaliyah. Aaliyah dated Jay Z first and then afterwards, Dame wound up getting his sloppy seconds. In the BFF handbook everyone knows that you don't fuck with anyone your friends have fucked around with. Dame apparently didn't get that memo.

RIHANNA TO STAR IN CHARLIE'S ANGELS 3?

After the success of the last two Charlie's Angels movies, word on the street is that one of the producers of the hit movie is considering making Rihanna the Fourth ANGEL.

Here’s what producer Nancy Juvonen told SciFiWire.com:

INTERVIEWER: Is the idea the same three Angels, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu—not to start over with a new trio?

Juvonen: I think that's part of it. I'm really into that when the show had the four Angels on for a while, and Farrah [Fawcett]'s little sister, Cheryl Ladd, came in. There was something fun with that, I think, that's very iconic of the show. So I'm a little on that.

INTERVIEWER:So actresses should start pitching themselves for the fourth Angel?

Juvonen: They should. I'm having a Rihanna fixation myself. What are you going to do?



Can Rihanna even act? She always seems so serious and carefully put together like Beyonce. All performance and no personality. The three actresses in the Charlie's Angels films had their own unique personalities. I remember back in the day before the first movie even came out that Lauryn Hill was supposed to be in Charlie's Angels before they hired Lucy Liu. Can't tell if this was around the time she was going batshit insane from popping out all of Rohan Marley's kids like cat litter. I'm all for a fourth Angel, just don't know if someone who hasn't proven themselves as an actor should be even considered for such a part. Who do you guys think would make a great fourth Angel?

THE CRYPTKEEPER TO STAR IN NEW BET HORROR SERIES

Former Public Enemy hypeman turned reality TV bafoon Flavor Flav, and director Deon Taylor have confirmed an agreement to continue their BET movie Nite Tales as an anthology TV series. The original movie aired on The Negro Network this past Halloween and is currently set for a DVD release on February 3. According to the Hollywood Reporter, director Den Taylor describes the new show as a cross between Tales From the Crypt and The Twilight Zone. Flavor Flav, whose movie role was similar to the “Cyrptkeeper” narrator of the former series (which is appropriate, since he looks just like the cryptkeeper), will reprise his character for the television show. Since younger audiences are likely not familiar with these older programs, Taylor states that the new series will specifically target those demographics. If the show does well, a new Nite Tales movie will premier every year, similar to the popular Saw movie series. At press time, BET’s Nite Tales is tentatively scheduled to premier this year as a weekly series. What I'm wondering is will the series be well written, well acted and inspiring like the Rod Serling series,with a dash of HBO's TFTC, or unwatchable like The new Twilight Zone, when Forest Whitaker took over on UPN?

KANYE PULLS A DIDDY

In another ploy to gain attention, Kanye West has decided to go the Diddy route, and announced a new rap alias, calling himself “Martin Louis The King, Jr”. In the past known as the Louie Vuitton Don, Kanye recently released a video from his hotel room in France saying “I know I’ve been called the Louis Vuitton Don, I know, I’ve been called a lot of names, uh mostly The Don, the Louis Vuitton Don — due to what happened — when the red shoes hit the runway, I was forced to change my name, to, Martin Louis The King, Jr. Address me as such. And until then, I will be in the building, swagger on a hundred thousand trillion.” As we previously reported, Kanye was in Paris attending the Louis Vuitton runway show where he debuted his new line of sneakers.

You know, I swear this boy needs an exorcism with all the bullshit he's been pulling lately.

YOUNG JEEZY TALKS BILL O' REILLY COMMENTS

Shortly after raking him and Jay Z over the coals on his popular Fox news show, Young Jeezy has accepted Bil O’Reilly’s invitation to appear on his show and explain his position. O’Reilly started his latest attack on rap by showing clips of Jeezy and Jay performing “My President,” calling it “a rant that offended people” O’Reilly bashed the rappers saying “I guess they didn’t get the memo about bringing the country together. I don’t think Barack Obama would approve of [the performance]. I think it was low class.”

“Damn right! I ain’t never ran, nah mean?” Jeezy told XXL “At the end of the day, you’re dealing with cats who think that we as young black men don’t know what it is we do. We entrepreneurs, we came from nothing.” Young Jeezy and Jay-Z are just the latest rappers that O’Reilly has attacked. In the past he bitched and cried enough to make Pepsi drop Ludacris as a spokesman, but said nothing when they replaced him with the Osbournes, who I think are even more lewd than Luda.

RECESSION NEWS: FABOLOUS CREDIT CARDS DECLINED AT RESTAURANT

FABOLOUS went from “Nothin’ to Somethin’ ” on his last album, but at an Atlanta restaurant, his credit is back to nothing. The rapper showed up at the hot Eros World Tapas Bar on Saturday with an entourage of more than 20, a source said. They requested “the usual excess of champagne and alcohol, so the manager asked for a credit card to start a tab.” Unfortunately,Fabolous ‘ credit cards were all declined. “By the fifth credit card, the entourage member designated to take care of his tab goes outside,” our source said, “only to start a fight with the outside bouncer. He tripped and fell, hitting his head on the concrete and started bleeding. The manager called an ambulance. But as soon as the entourage member also saw the police, he began running away, blood oozing down his face.”Fabolous and his posse stayed and ordered champagne but paid cash. Reps for the restaurant and the rapper declined to comment.

Fabolous better get back to sleeping with DJ Clue. Time and money's running short for the cricket rapper no one gives a damn about. And you can't blame it on the recession. Who the hell buys a Fobolous record anyway. Besides, anyone who names themself Fabolous is going to spark how you doin' rumors (especially if you fuck with Clue).

MAYBE HERPES HILTON SHOULD TAKE THIS INTO CONSIDERATION

I've heard of married couples being buried together, but this right here takes it to a whole new level. Gene Roddenberry, who created Star Trek, and his wife Majel will be buried together in a whole new sci-fi inspired way.

As all Trekker fans know, Roddenberry passed away in 1991, and his wife passed away last month. Majel's last wish was that some of their remains be shot into space together. Well, Celetis, the same company that shot some of Gene's ashes into space has decided to step in and honor her last wish! Celestis has just announced that the couple's ashes will be sent into space on a mission they are calling, how cute, Voyager.

WHO WANTS THEIR PORN IN 3D?

With the success of MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D, it was only a matter of time before we got a little bit of hardcore lovin', 3D style. Word on the street is that Whores Gone Wild founder Joe Francis wants a bailout for the straight adult entertainment industry (because gay porn is doing fine)and a Hong Kong filmmaker wants to produce the world's first 3-D porn.



Stephen Shiu Jnr said, "Just imagine that you'll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed." 3D Sex and Zen will be based on the 17th century Chinese erotic classic The Carnal Prayer Mat, which warns of the dangers of overindulgence.



The love scenes will comprise 25-30% of the film, with actors appearing mere inches away with the aid of 3D glasses. Shiu says the greatest challenge so far has been finding a male actor willing to undress for the camera.

Why settle for a ginormous dick in your face wearing 3D glasses, when you can pretty much go out and get the real thing. That's if you're into a ginormous dick smacking you in the face. As for someone's shaved snatch an inch from my face, and my face isn't the one buried in it...thanks, but no thanks. Now if we were talking about something like Arabian Fist in 3D, then we'd be talking.

SOMEONE FORGOT TO GIVE TOM FORD THE ECONOMIC MEMO

He may be a drop dead gorgeous and innovative designer, but it seems Tom Ford is a bit out of touch these days. He just put up a pair of jeans he designed for a whopping $990.00. of course to him this is a sale.


Why so much money for a pair of jeans you ask? Well, word is its made from Japanese selvedge denim that feels and looks raw but has been pre-washed and pre-shrunken so the indigo doesn’t rub off on your clothes. The button is plated with 18-karat gold, and the pockets are silk lined.

So basically you're paying for a fucking button. I guess the only people buying those jeans would be someone like Mariah, Madonna, Kylie or Halle. And even major celebrities are starting to feel the pinch of the recession.

TROUBLE FOR UGLY BETTY???

Could Ugly Betty be heading toward cancellation? Word is that ABC is benching the show shelving the Tursday night dramedy beginning in late March and replacing it with Samantha Who?, a show no one watches and the new Megan Mullaly series In the Motherhood. Betty will return to it's * pm time slot once Samantha and Motherhood have run their courses, which means we may not see a new episode until June. A spokeswhore for ABC said, "Betty is a solid performer and there is no question that it will definitely be back to complete its season, just without repeats."

But the rep doesn't specify when. If it's so solid, why are they taking the show off in the first place. How about removing crap like The Bachelor and that other forgettable reality show where folks who are gorgeous act like narcissistic assholes. leave ugly Betty alone!

Oh well. At least I still got my Smallville and Supernatural to look forward to on thursday nights.

RUPAUL IS HX MAGAZINE'S COVERGIRL

While on a break between classes, I decided to take a quick trip to Chelsea to pick up a new copy of HX, and to my surprise my girl RuPaul was on the cover. Many queens talk about how it was Madonna who inspired them to come out and be themselves, but I will go on the record to say it was Ru who inspired me (as well as my mother's fierce tongue) to be the best little faggot I could possibly be. Here was a fierce black gay man with a twisted sense of humor (much like mine) dressed in women's clothing (who looked better than most women I knew) and was on top of the world by just being himself. Everyone loved RuPaul - even middle-American housewives. Ru had it all. His own radio show with Michelle Visage (used to get ready for school listening to it), his own talk show on VH1 (that I watched religiously), and did tons of television, movies and albums. Ru did it all, and inspired me to build a multimedia empire of my own (still working on that part).

in the article, Ru talked about her brand new competition series Drag Race, which premieres Feb 2nd on LOGO (a show I'm sure will blow Top Model right into empty space - much like what makes up majority of Tyra's brain), why America needs drag, what it takes to become a fabulous drag queen in these hard times, and her upcoming new cd titled Champion (which will be released on April 7). Fellow judges this season include LEGENDARY photographer and director of Starrbooty Mike Ruiz, Santino Rice, Bob Mackie, Merle Ginsberg, Michelle Williams, and Tori Spelling along with her husband Dean.

I'm upset that I won't be able to watch the show, because I don't have LOGO. Why couldn't they put Drag Race on BRAVO like every other gay show on that channel? Also Ru, when you film a season 2, can you hook me up with a judging spot on the show? I have a way with words that'll make even Simon Cowell gag!

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