I may not have any stock in this film, but i will be promoting the hell out of it. Explicit sex mixed with explicit over-the-top violence? I am so there!
Previously on “Gay of the Dead”: Francois Sagat has changed, the lights and camera are perfect; Bruce LaBruce calls everyone back to set, and it suddenly sinks in—I’m about to watch a hardcore sex scene being filmed…
Up until now, I thought that once the actual sex was being filmed, I’d be kicked off set. Instead, the production manager, Jeremy, shows me to a seat where I can get a perfect view of all the action. He even encourages me to take photos. Really? This is so counterintuitive to me. I have a hard time processing it. I have friends who work in the adult industry, and they wouldn’t even let the actors in the thriller I produced about the industry (PORNOGRAPHY) do set visits. “Closed set!”
Sagat positions himself just off camera, and Andrew James takes his place on the ratty mattress in the “box.” A thought flashes thru my mind: “Man, I hope that isn’t some mattress they found on the street…” Considering LaBruce paid actual homeless people to be in the movie when the production was shooting on Skid Row, I wouldn’t put it past him to use a real live, flea-ridden mattress for verisimilitude.
LaBruce positions himself behind the monitor, the sound and cameras roll, and he calls, “Action!” Sagat (pictured left) slowly crawls into the box and on top of James. The three cameras I noticed when I first arrived make sense now; they want to get multiple angles of the action without having to do it again. These guys are only human, after all. (Although I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Sagat had been created in a laboratory by a really gay Dr. Frankenstein. He’s just that perfect, folks.)
Sagat and James start taking off their clothes, and I’m suddenly very aware of the women on the set. There’s the head-bandaged, behind-the-scenes woman, and at least one female production assistant. I’m also very aware of me on the set, sitting 10 feet from the action. Strangely, even with everyone gathered together, the room is completely silent; Sagat and James aren’t even making any noise. It’s all very eerie, until a photographer steps in and cranks out dozens of shots, the shutter of the camera click-click-clicking like a machine gun, over and over again.
As Sagat and James start earning their money, LaBruce walks away and line producer Robert Felt takes over and directs the sex scene. Directions like, “Use your other hand if possible…” and “Turn it toward the camera…” are given. This seems strange to me, so I move over to LaBruce and ask him why he isn’t directing the naughty parts. He tells me that since Felt is an actual pornographer, and his porn company will be releasing the film, it makes sense for him to direct the sex scenes and get exactly what he needs. “And honestly, shooting the sex scenes bores me…”
We’re at the point in the scene where certain…preparations…need to be done so the actors can continue the, er, um…acting. So cameras cut, and Sagat leaves set to take care of business. Everyone heads outside into the parking lot, opting for the 100 degrees outside vs. the muggy closeness of the studio inside. Thirty minutes later, Sagat is ready, and we all head back in…
…but not for long. Sagat and James are finally completely naked (thank you, eyeballs, for working today), but despite Sagat’s best efforts, James is having the problem that plagues porn stars and out-of-work construction workers—no wood. Far from looking bored as he had earlier, James begins to look slightly panicked. Personally, I can’t believe anyone can perform under these conditions—stifling heat, a gathered crowd that includes women and the photographer’s camera going off every five seconds. I feel for the guy.
Letting a model know that you’re unhappy to be waiting for lumber is a guaranteed way to assure that lumber delivery will never arrive, so instead of hitting the panic button, everything gets even quieter. Felt has been thru this before and gently shoos everyone out of the room to give the models some alone time.
We exit into the parking lot just in time for special makeup FX guy Joe Castro (TERROR TOONS, pictured right) to arrive. He and I have been chatting on Facebook lately (did y’all know I’m on Facebook? I’m on Facebook! Hurry up and friend me! And so is the GAY OF THE DEAD Fan Page!), and it’s nice to finally meet him in person. He tells me he’s been up for several days straight working on L.A. ZOMBIE, and considering what I’ve heard about the schedule, I believe him. Today he’s only supposed to do a minor effect, but circumstances are about to change his day drastically.
We’ve waited about 30 minutes, and I can sense the subtle morale shift among the crew. After four days of back-breaking work in record Los Angeles heat, waiting for a model to get motivated is the last thing this crew wants to deal with. Finally LaBruce comes up with Plan B. “Maybe we should just have [James] act dead and Francois can come in and just f**ck him…” Dear Diary: File this moment under “Awesome” and “Creepy”!
Time for Castro to step up. James now needs to be made up to be a dead guy before they can shoot the rest of the scene…
…and sadly, I have to leave set. After hanging out for most of the day, I have other commitments and can’t stay for the corpse banging. And I can’t return the next day for the blood orgy, either. A tragic state of affairs, but fingers crossed I’ll be able to come back for the sequel…
L.A. ZOMBIE stars Francois Sagat, Andrew James, Eddie Diaz, Eric Rhodes, Francesco D'Macho, Matthew Rush, Trevor Wayne, Rocco Giovanni, Wolf Hudson, Deadlee and Santino Rice (PROJECT RUNWAY). Read more about L.A. ZOMBIE, including Bruce LaBruce’s Production Diary, at www.lazombie.com (18 years old and over only).
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