2009 MTV VMA RECAP

MTV Shows

Just got finished watching the 2009 MTV VMA's and I have to say, as cynical as I am, and I will admit, I was so ready to rip alot of the performances apart, but for once, MTV got it right and provided not only top notch performances, but like Paula Abdul brought to American Idol every week, MTV was not short on bringing the crazy.

MTV Shows

Let's start with the good, shall we? The show opened with Madonna, who gave an awesome speech about the impact Michael Jackson had on BILLIONS of fans around the world. She also took the time to share with the audience the brief time she spent with Michael back in the early nineties. After her heartfelt monologue, the show kicked off into a medley of inspiring choreographed numbers from the Michael jackson catalog. once Scream blared through Radio City's speakers, Janet Jackson emerged through shattered glass, lip synching for her life like she was competing for season 2's Rupaul's Drag Race (I kid Janet. You know I got love for you). Janet definitely did her thing and showed there's another Jackson force to be reckoned with.

MTV Shows

Now the bad: The first award of the night was for Best Female Artist. Among those nominated were Beyonce, P!nk, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga. I was sure either beyonce or gaga was going to win, and apparently so did Taylor, because she was the one who eventually won the award. As my finger slowly made it's way toward the fast forward button on my DVR remote, something forced me to stop...why it was none other than the KING OF ALL DOUCHES, Kanye West. Kanyetta took her flaming ass on stage (apparently Amber Rose wasn't strong enough to hold back his ego) and ranted about how much he was happy that Taylor won, but beyonce had the best video of all time with Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It). Why didn't he just stick a bucket of pig's blood over Swift's head and pour it on her instead of his usual unnecessary rant, because I don't think she was embarrassed enough by his unnecessary blowup. yes he took away her shine, but my people in NYC stood up and let his CUNTY ass have it! The audience booed his ass off stage and eventually out of the building, never to be heard from again...for now until he starts his next rant on his blog at three...two...

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

One thing he will learn is thatyou can get away with that everywhere else, but you cannot come to NYC and think you can pull that shit and get away with it. New Yorkers have no problem bringing your ass back to reality. After this, I think Kanyetta has surpassed John Gosselin and Spencer Pratt as the undisputed King of all DOUCHNESS. kanye has sinced appologized for his antics, but i say too little, too late.

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

And the interesting....Can we take a moment for Lady Gaga? I know she wanted to inspire many with her very bizarre (classic 50's Giallo inspired) performance of Paparazzi, but I lost count of how many times I said "what the fuck is she wearing" to my TV screen. Vocally she was amazing, loved the outfit, and especially the blood pouring from her top after she got all Alicia Keys-on-acid on us. It was also good to see Mark from season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance (remember his NappyTaps choreographed Bleeding Love performance with Chelsea?) as one of her back-up dancers (he was the one humping on Gaga while she sang the bridge). Lady Gaga brings the drama, the crazy, and the over-the-top-ness. I love it!

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

In a nutshell, Beyonce was good (dancing like she was performing at her Junior High School dance recital. You do get Mother Theresa/Jesus points for sacrificing yourself so that Taylor Swift could have the moment that lady Kanyetta took away.) Maybe you did it out of the kindness of your heart. Maybe you did it because you don't want people to think you put Kanyetta up to that shit (your face was priceless when the camera panned to you Bey) but there can't be celebrities that nice, can they? Muse was awesome (love love love Muse), I wanna fuck Gerard Butler (okay that came out of left field...but I still want to fuck him), Green Day kicked ass (Loved that he invited every regular Joe to join him onstage. You know security was pissed).

P!nk - New Music - More Music Videos

P!nk was fucking amazing and awe-inspiring. She definitely inspired me to get my sit-up game on with all them trapeze moves she was doing. Let's see Beyonce sing and do somersaults in the air like she in the circus. Hell let's see Britney do that without lip-synching. I love the song with Jay Z and Alicia Keys, but to be honest, the song sounded better on the CD. overall great show and Russel Brand did a great job. Maybe I'm the only one who thought so, but I don't care. I totally get british humor. It's dry, cunty and dark, just how I like my jokes and my men.