Whenever ther's a tribute or a fancy event to attend, everyone always has that one person who shows out in front of the audience, giving everyone something to talk about the next day. Unfortunately, no one thought to film it and put it up on YouTube. At last night's tribute to Tom Hanks by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts became that bitch everyone looks at and snickers for their crazy erratic behavior, but secretly wants to be, dropping more F bombs than Madonna on David Letterman a few years back.
Here's what Julia said at last night's event:
"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita, and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"
Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."
Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"
Well goddamn, Julia! I think I just got drunk reading this shit. She's officially my kind of girl! I was never really a Julia Roberts fan. I like Sandra Bullock more. i honestly think Sandra plays the American sweetheart role better than Julia ever did, but apparently, Hollywood gravitated toward her more. We need to see Julia out more doing the Paris Hilton I'm-currently-dancing-on-table-tops-like-I'm-having-a-seizure dance with her hair fanned over her face.
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