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JUST LIKE CLOCKWORK...

Okay bitches, bring on the BIG bucket of popcorn with extra butter because it's about to be an ugly battle between a fame-whoring "born-again Christian" and a band of fish eaters.

A couple of hours after getting his taint handed to him royally, Michael released this shitty statement to ABC News. I'm surprised it took this long for him to answer. It's only been what, a few hours?


"Who's out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins.

She's gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who's out of control? I go to church. I go and help people in rehab. That's control. How can she say I'm out of control? I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay .

Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life.That's what Dina told me. I'm reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy. Dina's a two-face. She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay's good side instead of being a good parent. I don't give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she's going to turn around to me and tell me, 'Daddy, you were right.?

Well don't hold your breath for Lezzie to tell you that. or better yet, please do. That way we won't have to hear anymore of this bullshit back-and-forth bantering. Oh, who am I kidding. i love all this drama!

KAY McCONAUGAY FUCKED HER HUSBAND TO DEATH (LITERALLY)

Crazy definitely knows crazy in the McConaughey household, because in Mateo's mom's new book called "I Amaze Myself," Kay McConaughey spilled some T that clearly states she is definitely Matty's mom.

In one section, Kay writes that her husband died while she rode him like a wild horse from Texas. She writes, “On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing But it was just the best way to go!”

When the paramedics arrived and couldn't revive him, she didn't bother covering up his nude body. “I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift." Yea that's what I'm talkin' about. I wonder if good 'ol Jimmy passed some of his lower genes down to Matthew and Rooster?

She also admits that Matthew was a "happy accident." After she married Jim for a third time (WTF???), Kay didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. “I was deciding, ‘Do I want to have another baby? Do I want to have an affair? Or go back to school? That’s when Matthew was conceived. We had tried for 16 years and no baby. So Matthew was a big surprise!”

Maybe Kay can give Orangina some advise on how to fuck a man. Then maybe she could finally get the 40-year-old Ali some legitimate work. Oh never mind! Kay's too classy for that.

JUSTIN TIMBERDOUCHE SAYS IT'S PAINFUL TO HEAR HIMSELF

Justin Timberlake may be a megastar, but the “SexyBack” singer still struggles to accept his artistry.

“It’s painful for me to either watch or listen to myself,” Timberlake told us recently. “But even when you’re not fully satisfied with the outcome, that’s what makes you hungry. But there is gratification in the fact that you a. make people smile, b. make people dance, c. make people laugh or d. make people make babies.”

Baby-making aside, Timberlake has a very unromantic take on the acting arena.

“Acting is a totally different process than music. Music is a study in the romanticizing of human behavior,” he explained. “I have found that acting is like the un-romanticizing, that’s not a word, it is the opposite of the romantics of human behavior.”

Perhaps JT just needs a good love scene, as it seems the aspiring actor only chooses gritty roles like a drug-dealing gang member in “Alpha Dog,” a disfigured Iraq war veteran in “Southland Tales” and a hairy, Speedo-wearing hockey player in “Love Guru.”

Source: ICYDK

From your mouth to GOD's ears. I've always said one of these days Justin's balls will hit the floor. Then he can finally get some bass in his voice. I also love how someone who's not a very good actor to begin with is going to give advise about the difference between acting. He really is a douche. Maybe that's the part you hate seeing on TV. Unless it's so embedded in your DNA you fail to notice.

'BUFFY' BLAMED FOR FALL IN CHURCH ATTENDANCE

In what has to be the most hilarious story I've heard in quite a while, a recent British survey called 'Women And Religion In The West' states that watching the hit series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is the cause of people abandoning church. Have these tewats ever seen the show? What's next? Harry Potter will bring forth the Apocolypse?

So Sarah Michelle Gellar and 'Angel' are responsible for around 50,000 women deciding against being shouted at by a man in a dress every Sunday morning and preferring to go about their Satanic ways. The author of the dreary study, Dr. Kristine Aune, managed to stop declaring that the power of Christ compels you to destroy your 'Buffy' box sets just long enough to say...

"Because of its focus on female empowerment, young women are attracted by Wicca, popularised by the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In short, women are abandoning the church."

I could go into a whole schpeel about why folks aren't going to church anymore, but there ain't enough room for me to write this. As someone who watched Buffy & Angel faithfully, I abandoned the stupid Christian faith long before it "converted me to it's demonic ways." buffy was about individuality, surviving the cruel world in which we lived, and female empowerment. The monsters used on the show was actually a metaphor for humanity. if these religious idiots actually sat down and watched an episode, they would know this, they're only interested in what they've always been interested in: Using outdated rhetoric to keep those with no mind of their own under their control.

TOP CHEF CONTESTANT UNDER ARREST

And lucky for us, it isn't my babydaddy Sam Talbot. Marcel Vigneron from Top Chef season 2, was busted in Laguna Beach this past Saturday on suspicion of drunken driving. He was originally stopped for speeding, but the officer quickly realized Miss Thang was wasted. He was arrested and later released on $2,500 bail. Was that the money from the show he used?

He's definitely a trooper. Marcel spent his Saturday morning in jail and still managed to show up to the Pageant of the Masters later that night.

At least in his mug shot the hair is still perfectly in place.

JODIE MARSH & HER CHIMICHANGAS MAKE AN APPEARANCE

Jodie Marsh and her parts practically exploded out of her CATWOMAN costume at the premiere of "Daylight Robbery" in London. Speaking of, don't you think she'd be a great Catwoman in the next Chris Nolan BATMAN film? I'm still not believing the Cher/Catwoman rumor. I refuse!

O.J. GOT HIS ASS BEAT BY A GIRL

Being the girlfriend of a celebrity usually has it's priviledges, especially when you're a Jane nobody swept off your feet by a BIG name industry person. If you're the girlfriend of O.J. Simpson, that's a whole 'nother story within itself. Earlier this year, the Nicole Brown look-alike, Christine Prody, was hospitalized for busting up her head after falling at a gas station. A few months later her head and arms went through the windshield of her car during a bad accident. And now The National Enquirer reports that Christine and O.J got their asses handed to them on a silver plate from the Salvation Army by his 39-year-old daughter on August 24th.

The popo was called to his home after his daughter, Arnelle, attacked the both of them. Arnelle beat the juice out of him because he's not paying support to her mother, Marguerite. Marguerite is working at Walmart to pay the bills. Support? Isn't Arnelle a little too old to be sitting around with her hand out? And y'all should know O.J. ain't got no money. hell, he barely has a pot to piss in and a fabulously interior-designed window to throw it out of.

The fight ended with Arnelle pushing his ass into a glass cupboard. A source said, "O.J. hit the cupboard hard and the glass shattered all over him. He fell to the floor, bleeding." Arnelle panicked and called 911 but quickly hung up. 911 operators still traced the call and sent police.

A police report was filed, but O.J. refused to press charges. The article didn't say how badly Christine was injured. With her luck, she probably has a fucking broken neck and a bruised clitoris.

Christine seriously need to dump O.J.'s irrelevant ass before HISTORY rears it's ugly head and repeats itself, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do.

DA MAN COMES HARD FOR LEZZIE'S ATTENTION WHORE DAD

Lezzie HoHan's personal beef curtain cleaner SaMANtha Ronson, actually took time out of her busy schedule spinning records in nightclubs and munching carpet to respond to Lezzie's donkey ass father Michael Lohan's attacks on her MySpace. In my own personal opinion I think it's very corny to behaving what we like to call E-fights. this shit is corny on so many levels. When i was growing up if you had a problem with someone, you took it to them directly, and if they got up in your face, you'd take it to the street. I'm sure Ms. Man can take Mikey's bitch ass down!


SHUT THE F*** UP
Current mood: bullied

i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words... so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life- i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him.

p.s. i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living.... i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else....so I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all..... written by me..... when does your book come out mr. lohan?

I'm on team Man. Between Michael and Orangina (as well as the 40 year old sister of hers), I can see why Lindsay is the way she is. She's damaged, and it's all due to the fact that they are her parents. As far as her being gay, I think her feelings for Man go deeper than that. She may be the only person who truly understands Lezzie without wanting something form her in return. The best thing Lezzie ever did was disassociate herself from her parents.

Here is also HoHan's response from her MySpace page...



DRUG FREE
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going...

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.

This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.

I'm not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on...

I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

AND THE PHOTOSHOP AWARD GOES TO...

I know Hollyweird is filled with smoke & mirrors, but this is taking it to the extreme. Either Entertainment Weekly has an amazing Photoshopper on staff or they slipped Shannen and Jennie a mickey to get them to pose for this pic.

Legendary Brenda Walsh and Kelly Taylor pose like BFF bitches from the Hills on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Not only did the make the cover, they also gave an interesting interview. I, of course will give you the best bits of the interview in this here blog. She had plenty to say about Torzilla talking shit about her in her recent tell-all.

Brenda: "I will censor myself out of respect for Jennie because she's friends with Tori. I got passages sent to me and a vast majority of it is incredibly exaggerated. Maybe it's a difference of how I was raised. I just don't believe you write personal on-set experiences in a book. For me, when you work it's almost a sacred experience whether you get along with everyone or not. In 27 years of acting I've never sold out one of my cast members. Ever. And I will stick to that."

When she was asked about the LEGENDARY Crystal & Alexis-style fist fight between Brenda & Kelly, they both denied a fight ever broke out, but Jennie said, "Scratching? I'm not going to deny that." You all know as well as I do that Brenda ain't the scratching type. Bitch will crack your skull with a champagne bottle and burn your eyes out with cigarettes. Trust!

TRAILER TRASH: FAST & FURIOUS

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker reunite after 2 Fast 2 Furious for the next installment in the series. This time they head back to the streets where it all began to blast muscle, tuner and exotic cars across Los Angeles and floor through the Mexican desert in the new high-octane action-thriller.

LIL WAYNE MISSES ANOTHER COURT DATE

Lil’ Wayne missed yet another court date, and he's using an excuse he's used before. Medical issues. Lil Wayne missed a NYC court date earlier this month, saying his doctor forbade him from flying. And yesterday, in Yuma, Ariz., Wayne missed another court appearance on drug charges, Close sources are saying that Lil Wayne is still having problem with his teeth. It's funny how when a court date comes, your teeth be killing you. But that never stops him from wearing all that shit in his mouth.

DONKEY NEWS: SUGE KNIGHT IS A WOMAN BEATER

Word on the street is that Suge Knight was once again placed under arrest, this time for attacking his girlfriend.

The former rap mogul was charged by Las Vegas cops for assault with a deadly weapon, possession of controlled substances and domestic violence.

Law enforcement tells us Suge allegedly attacked his girlfriend of three years early this morning. She claims he punched her in the back of the head while they were driving. We call that a sucker punch in the hood. She claims she tried getting out of the car, grabbed the steering wheel to cause an accident so someone would notice her peril.

The car struck the curb and stopped. She fled from the car and allegedly Suge chased her, caught her and that’s when the cops came. Cops say they saw Suge kick the woman in the head and was wielding a knife in his hand.

How you doin' Suge? One thing I have no respect for is when a guy beats on a woman. His ginormous ass will fit right at home in jail.

New Video: Common (Feat. Pharell) - Announcement

Here's a brand new video from Common. My only question is, what happened to the video for "Universal Mind Control?"

SOLANGE SNAPS AT REPORTER

Before interviewing Solange, the anchors of Fox News Las Vegas, asked if she would talk about the closing of Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Vegas. Solange's rep said "hell no" and the anchor agreed she would only keep it about Solange.

Well once the interview began, the reporter gave a nice introduction for Salonjay when she snapped on her for no reason. If you're trying to gain some kind of respect in the industry, you seriously need to relax. You are in the same league as Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams (I'm still pulling for you girl) where you will always be compared to your sister and thrown behid her like a back-up singer. The only thing you can do is follow your own path and take musical adventures completely left-of-center from Beyonce.

Click below to watch the video.

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SINGER GEO VAUGHN VICTIM OF A HATE CRIME

NYC club kid and singer Geo Vaughn was gay bashed in the East Village over the weekend. It's sad that in this day and age, we still have to deal with homophobic assholes who hate who they are as human beings so much that they have to take their anger and frustration out on others who arte different than they are. So anyone out there who isn't afraid to let their flame burn bright, I applaud you for being you unique selves, but be sure to keep safe whenever you go out in the street. I think there are times when we let our guard down way too often. NYC is still the best city in the world, but it's also infested with rats. And I don't mean the big ones that you see in the sewer. So Geo, get better so that you can get back out there and do what you do best and that's bring it to the stage!

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Taking a dildo. You know you want to fuck me. if you're in philadelphia or new york city message me...



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MARGARET CHO STOPS BY CHELSEA LATELY

Margaret and her assistant Selene stopped by Chelsea Lately to talk about Lindsay, g-shots and little people.

DONKEY NEWS: DMX CURSES OUT A COURT JUDGE; BAIL DENIED

Rapper DMX is apparently a glutton for punishment, because it would totally explain why he's been acting like such a donkey lately. He faced his eight millionth drug charge in court today and was trying to receive bond from a judge so he could retreat to his crack den in Arizona. As you all may know, just the other day there was a warrent out for his arrest after failing to show up in court. The judge had other plans for X, and after not getting his way, the cracked-out rapper basically told the judge that "I ain't going back to no fucking jail." Well, the man who currently holds X's fate in his hands, had other plans for his donkey ass. DMX at the moment still sits in jail, right where he belongs.

TRAILER TRASH: TRANSPORTER 3

My babydaddy Jason Statham is back as Frank the hitman in another sequel to the popular Transporter series. I'm seriously hoping they take it back to basics of the first film with just a little more action in this one. Transporter 2 was a mess, so I'm hoping the people involved with the new one learned from their mistakes with the last film.

Transporter 3 trailer
Uploaded by transporter-3

BRIT BRIT WON'T BE PORNFORMING AT THIS YEARS TIRED VMA TELECAST

Sadly, Britney Spears won't be doing her famous stripper pole routine at this year's MTV Video Music Awards, and here's why.

"Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year's VMAs," Larry Rudolph, Spears' on-again-off-again manager at Jive Records, said in a statement. "She's in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio."

Spears' "Gimme More" comeback performance during last year's VMAs was one of the most-talked-about moments of 2007. The tabloid queen is currently appearing in spots promoting this year's ceremony.

In June, MTV Networks Music Group President Van Toffler said the network wasn't ruling out giving viewers another dose of Spears at the VMAs. MTV later confirmed they were in talks to have Spears appear in some capacity. The rebounding pop queen is nominated for video of the year for "Piece of Me."

This VMAs will air live Sept. 7 from Paramount Pictures Studios in Los Angeles. Previously announced award show performers include Kid Rock, Lil Wayne, Pink, Rihanna, Paramore, T.I. and the Jonas Brothers.

Well besides RiRi, T.I., & P!nk, I don't see this VMA's as something worth watching.

NEW KANYE

CLICK BELOW to check out the just-released video for Kanye West's Good Morning.

The video was directed by Kanye and was animated by famed artist Takashi Murakami.

MICHELLE OBAMA GIVES A MOVING SPEECH

In case you missed it, click BELOW to watch Michelle Obama's moving speech at the Democratic National Convention last night.

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SLAMS RICKY MARTIN

Ricky Martin recently became a dad, but that hasn't stopped people from slamming his bastering skills.

The Catholic church's Cardinal of Honduras, Oscar Andres Rodriguez, has accused the singer of going against human dignity, whatever the fuck that means! Word is, on a visit to Chile, the Catholic leader said, "What Martin did diminishes the dignity of a human being. You can't just buy or rent life. It's even worse when someone famous and in the public eye is doing it."

Says who? People do it all the time. Besides, the Cardinal would NEVER say that to Saint Angelina. She'd sick all twelve Apostles, some leprecy, the red sea, and the great flood on his ass!

Mexican talk show host Esteban Arce is also flapping off with his mouth, saying, "I don't think it's right to deny children of maternal figures, just because you have a big ego." How about telling that shit to the millions of kids growing up in single parent households. Ricky hasn't even confirmed that he even likes butt sex, and already all these fuckers have an opinion. So when the Cardinal starts lumping hetero couples into this argument, then I'll feel what he's saying. In the meantime, shut the fuck up, stay being celibate, and continue nursing your blue balls, because they'll never have the opportunity of being sucked on. Oh and in case you didn't hear the rumors, Ricky's surrogate mother is alleged to be one of his cousins. Now that's nasty!

FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 2

The first 5 minutes of of the Gossip Girl season premiere has leaked on the internet, six days before it premieres on Monday! If you cannot wait until Monday, click to watch it below. Otherwise, watch the full episode next week.

BIG HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 NUMBER

Here are some HIGHlights from Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel's big musical number in October's High School Musical 3. I loved the first tow, so I am definitely looking forward to the third installment.

JANICE ADDRESSES ONE OF HER MODEL'S GAY PORN PAST

Janice Dickinson did an interview in the latest issue of NYC gay rag, HX. In the article, she talks about model Rodrigo De Carli (who goes by the nom-de-porn Claudio Martin for Lucas Entertainment) and his past in gay porn.

"I don't have a problem with gay porn. What's wrong with gay porn? It allows people to encapsulate what they're fantasies are. Is that so bad? I think Rodrigo had other issues that were far too severe, which is the reason why he's not with the agency anymore; I'm not going to go into depth about it, but he knows what they are. As far as him having a colorful past? look as long as you don't sodomize children, this is the United States of America-the Fifth Amendment, Larry Flint, yes! I see nothing wrong with gay porn."

CHER TO PLAY CATWOMAN IN NEXT BATMAN FLICK???

At first when I heard this story, I had to have a laugh. The more I hear of it, the more nervous I'm starting to become. Aging singer/actress Cher is alleged to be in talks to play Catwoman opposite Christian Bale in the next installment of the Batman franchise. If the deal goes through, the gay icon will be skulking about Gotham with Johnny Depp, who's set to play The Riddler in the flick. It's the frailest and least intimidating cast of villains Batman's ever faced!

I love me some Cher, but I think this is the worst idea since they put Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze. Catwoman has to be seductive, dangerous and a wild cat (pun intended). Besides, doesn't Cher have one of those Celine Dion-sized contracts keeping her holed up in Vegas while she puts on a show? So I'm still going with this story as simply a rumor.

WTF??? K-Ci blames Jesus and Bill Gates for Jo Jo collapsing onstage

After the hoopla surrounding last weekend's bizarre K-Ci and JoJo concert — in which JoJo collapsed on stage and nobody bothered to pick him up — K-Ci took to the airwaves to defend his brother and refute all those "ridiculous" drug claims.

See, the reason his brother passed out on stage after repeatedly acting like a crazy person was because he suffers from epilepsy. Fair enough — let's pack it up and call it a day, shall we? Oh, you want to keep talking? Well in that case, you're digging your own hole.

K-Ci says that Jesus decided JoJo needed to pass out mid-concert, and nobody can argue with God. Also? He hates Bill Gates for inventing the computer. And if you're still questioning his sobriety after those perfectly sane statements, he denies the rumors of drug use: "All that cocaine stuff man — I don't even know how to spell cocaine man, you feel me? I don't even drink Coca-Cola cause it say 'coke.'"

Source: Mollygood.com

I know Amy winehouse is thinking, "why didn't I think of that excuse whenever people caught me doing drugs?"

What would Jesus do in a situation like this?

NEW DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

The promo video for the new season of "Desperate Housewives" has hit the airwaves. Click below to watch the video.



are you excited for the new season of DH?

HEIDI MONDRAGQUEEN CREATES A MASTERPIECE

Click below to watch the best video of 2008. They should definitely nominate this bitch for a 2009 MTV VMA. This piece of crapola is right up the MTV alley. I've seen excruciatingly bad gay porn shot better than this. Can someone do a Final Destination on this bitch and unsuspectingly run her over with a bus? I'm so glad I'm from an era where music videos were carefully thought out, edgy and adventerous. Seeing people like Heidi, Herpes Hilton, Hayden Pantiesair and countless other talented trolls invading the music industry clearly shows that there are no new generation Madonna's, Princes and Michael Jackson's.

RAY J THE NEW FLAVOR FLAV IN REALITY SHOW

A few weeks ago, Ray J was on The Wendy Williams show, and during the interview he stated that he had a top secret reality show in the works. Well now we know what it is. Word is the network is looking to replace their franchise series "Flavor of Love" with another reality dating show in the same vein - but this time starring the much more attractive brother of R&B singer Brandy, Ray J.

Word on the street is that the show will follow a very similar format - with the women staying in a house and competing for Ray J's heart. And get this - the shows producers already have a verbal commitment from Kim Kardashian and Lil Kim to be on the show. And they're working on bringing WHITNEY HOUSTON into the show. WTF??? How will Kim have the time to appear on his show as well as Dancing With The D List? And didn't Whitney learn her lesson after appearing on "Being Bobby Brown?"

Funniest thing is, i can't wait to see this show. if all goes well, who will be the new "I Love NY" replacement? Casting directors are looking for donkeys to try out for the series in the following areas:

Miami (Miami@realtalentcasting.com)
Chicago (Chicago@realtalentcasting.com)
Las Vegas (Vegas@realtalentcasting.com)
New York (NY@realtalentcasting.com)
Dallas (Dallas@realtalentcasting.com)
Houston (Houston@realtalentcasting.com)
Oklahoma City (OK@realtalentcasting.com)
Los Angeles (LA@realtalentcasting.com)

RUMOR: JADA PINKETT MAY BE PREGNANT

Apparently natural babies have replaced African ones as the latest Hollyweird accessory, because word on the street is that Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith have been trying for months to get pregnant.

According to one insider, Will and Jada had been undergoing fertility treatment - and apparently it worked. The insider explained, "Jada completely changed her diet to a special 'pregnancy diet.' It's the same one that she used when she was pregnant with [Willow and Jaden]."

And what's a pregnancy diet, you ask. According to the insider, "No caffeine or sugar ... and a lot of vegetables."

Well shit you should avoid the sugar and caffeine even when you're not trying to get pregnant.

New Video: T-Pain ft Lil Wayne “Can’t Believe it”

DR. DRE'S SON FOUND DEAD

The son of rap music legend Dr. Dre was found dead at his home in Woodland Hills on Saturday morning, according to reports. Andre Young Jr. was found when his mother went to check on him around 10 a.m. The 20-year-old man was unresponsive, prompting his mother to call 911.

The cause of death is unknown, pending completion of a toxicology report, reports Australian news source Livenews.com.

My condolences go out to Dr. Dre and his family.

T.I. PISSED TRACKS FROM "PAPER TRAIL" HAVE BEEN LEAKED

Rapper T.I. is livid that a track he recorded featuring JAY-Z, LIL WAYNE and KANYE WEST has been leaked on to the internet.

The Bring Em Out hitmaker is furious that the track Swagger Like Us, which features the hip-hop superstars, has emerged more than a month before the LP is due for release.

And he has blasted people who put tunes on the web before they are released - saying they spoil it for the fans.

He says, “Don’t ruin the event. Wait till the cake comes out the kitchen before you eat it. That’s like a kid who sees his toys before Christmas; it takes away from me and from the fans as well.

“When it’s time, I’mma (sic) give it to you. Leakage is never a problem I have had. I’m not used to it.”

It doesn't matter if your tracks are leaked or not. I'ma still buy the cd when it comes out.

FUCK FOX NEWS

Donkey-ass Griff Jenkins get's ambushed by a bunch of left-wing protesters who chant "Fuck Fox News." I couldn't have said it better myself.

ZAC EFRON UNDER ATTACK!

Cast and crew finally get their revenge on prankster Zac Efron! You also get the priviledge of seeing Zac without his shirt on. Click below to watch the video.

New Music: Brandy - First and Luv

Another amazing track has leaked from Brandy's upcoming cd.

New Music: TI ft. Rihanna - Live Your Life

Restrain yourselves from laughing at the sample used on this track. Once you get past it, you realize this track is kinda hot. So far, the last three singles I've heard from T.I. have been bangas. Really looking forward to buying the new cd.

Dido - Look No Further (BRAND NEW SONG!)

Here's a brand new song from Dido off her upcoming cd

ERICA KANE JOINS DANCING WITH THE D LIST

Erica Kane has been announced as just one of the bitches who will dance for some wack ass trophy in "Dancing with the D List" this season.

In related news, over the weekend, Kim Kardashian sliced her foot open, causing folks to worry that she will not perform. But don't fret, those who give a shit, she will still dance! Kim said she didn't cut her foot on a glass coffee table. She cut it on a broken mirror underneath a desk. She said she tried to push away with her foot and got cut up. So I guess it is true. Her fat ass got all the brains.

Here's the rest of the cast with who they are partnered with:

Toni Braxton (with Alec Mazo), singer, 40
Lance Bass (w.Lacey Schwimmer from So You Think You Can Dance) ultra gay singer, 29
Ted McGinley (with Inna Brayer) Jefferson D'Arcy, 50
Cloris Leachman (with Corky Ballas) Frau Blücher, 82
Warren Sapp (with Kym Johnson) NFL sports person, 35
Rocco DiSpirito (with Karina Smirnoff) flaming chef, 31 - So there's TWO gays this season!
Kim Kardashian (with Mark Ballas) amateur porn star with a fat ass, 27
Maurice Green (with CHERYL BURKE!!!) Olympic sports person,
Misty May-Treanor (with Maksim Chmerkovskiy) Olympic sports person, 31 - Maksim is finally back!
Susan Lucci (with Tony Dovolani) LEGEND!, 61
Jeffrey Ross (with Edyta Sliwinska) comedian, 42
Cody Linley (with Julianne Hough), 18
Brooke Burke (with Derek Hough), 36

AMERICAN IDOL GET'S A FOURTH JUDGE

After eight seasons of living in hell with bafoon ass Randy and vicodin-sedated Paula, the bitches over at FOX have decided to call themselves shaking up the new season by adding a fourth judge to the show. Singer/songwriter Kara DioGuardi will join Paula, Simon and Randy as a permanent judge when the show returns for its 8th season in January.

Simon Fuller said they originally wanted four judges when "American Idol" started. Why?! So what made you decide to add another judge now? could it be sagging ratings?

Simon went on to say, "We are turning the heat up on 'Idol' this year and are thrilled to welcome Kara to the judges' table. She is a smart, sassy lady, and one of America's most successful songwriters. We know she will bring a new level of energy and excitement to the show." Basically everything Paula failed to do for the past eight years.

Kara has worked with Kelly Clarkson, Xtina, Gwen Stefani, Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Santana, Carrie Underoos, Britney Spears, Clay Gayken and more.

Seriously, AI needs alot more than just a new judge to make that show watchable again. Stop with the corny group songs, the bad dancing, Ryan Gaycrest bantering with Simon, and making these kids massacre songs way before their time. If I hear another person butcher another Stevie Wonder song I'm going to track them down and cut them the fuck up with a chainsaw.

VADGE IS RUNNING OUT OF CONTROVERSIAL IDEAS

Vadgezilla is up to her usual tricks again, trying to create unnecessary buzz to get folks interested in her "Sweet & Sour" tour. John McCain's peepz are upset with V because she sort of compared him to Adolf Hitler. I guess after sticking it to Bush on her last tour, she had to find someone new to rag on. Vadge's "Sweet & Sour" tour features a video montage of John McCain's image alongside pictures of Hitler, destruction, global warming and Robert Mugabe. Obama's image is also shown alongside Gandhi, John Lennon and Al Gore. I'm surprised she didn't put a picture of herself in there as well. I'm all for using things that may deem controversial as art, because art can be controversial, but what I can't stand is folks who use their tours to persuade others how to think. And you know the sheep that are her Vadgeciples don't have minds of their own.

John McCain, who compared Obama to Herpes Hilton, issued a statement through his spokeswhore: “The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time. It clearly shows that when it comes to supporting Barack Obama, his fellow worldwide celebrities refuse to consider any smear or attack off limits."

Whatever Pepaw! It's okay for you to compare Obama to a venereal disease and Britney Spears, but someone compares your crazy former veteran ass to another psychopath and you're upset? I wouldn't trust his ass with the switch at 3 am if my life depended on it.

Here's another reason why I miss 1980s Madonna. She shocked people the old-fashioned way: by acting like a cheap slut. I understand your need to heal the world like you're mother Theresa, but for once would you please just put on a show and stop trying to bore us with your fucking politics. that's why I love Kylie. She puts on a creatively edgy show, and is all about entertainment. We live this shit everyday. i don't want to be paying $350.00 to see more of it. Hell I can get the same shit for $19.95 on CNN or how ever much cable is costing these days.

ZAC EFRON YOU AIN'T FOOLING ANYBODY

High School Musical star and future twink gay porn star, Zac Efron, 20, says fellow Disney star, Vanessa Hudgens 19, "outshines" other women. Whatever that means. Female First reports:

The 20-year-old actor - who has been dating Vanessa since they starred alongside each other in 2006 movie 'High School Musical' - immediately knew that Vanessa was the one for him. He said: "Vanessa caught my eye straight away. She simply outshines all other girls because of her strong personality. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in two people having chemistry straight away. I don't know what it was with Vanessa but we kind of clicked from the very beginning. She is not just a lovely girl, she is also a sexy and desirable woman! Vanessa is just a wonderful person. I can laugh and talk with her and, most of all, we have loads of fun!"

Usually when a guy can laugh, talk with her, and have loads of fun, that's something we fags like to call "fag hags." Maybe someone should give "Mr. Wears too much foundation" that memo.

SOURCE: IDLYITW

CHARLIE SHEEN TO BE A DADDY AGAIN

Speaking of more babies, word is that Charlie Sheen and new wife Brooke Mueller are expecting their first baby together. You know Denise is pissed now that she has competition in the child support department. I can hear her now envoking the spirit of Rhoda. "It's mine, the money is mine!"

Charlie and his wife of 4 months found out she was knocked up on Friday. They already issued this statement to People: They said: "Brooke and I are thrilled! She's the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for. Seeing her love and affection with those three, I know she'll be an amazing mom. Unless I bat 100 percent, perhaps a boy awaits us."

You know that has to sting when he says his current wife is a better mom to his kids than his opportunist ex wife Douchenise. And y'all know I can't wait for Denise's response. I hope she fucking claims the baby really belongs to her and Brooke stole her fetus! I wouldn't put it past this crazy bitch and her Hollyweird antics.

BIGGEST PORN STAR IN THE WORLD IS KNOCKED UP

Rumors have been circulating for quite a while, but official word is that Jenna Jameson is knocked up with boyfriend UFC champion Tito Ortiz's baby.

Jenna finally confirmed it to UsWeekly, “Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible. I'm so happy! I'm just saying super healthy. I’ve moved down to the beach with Tito — I love being by the beach.”

The best part of UsWeekly's article is this: " But the devout Catholic — who has tried in vitro — told Us, "It was all in God's plan."

Mmmkay on that one. I'm happy for Jenna and all, but finally she can start eating again. Recently she was looking so skinny I was starting to worry about her.

THE GAME TALKING MAD GREASE ON RADIO SHOW

Click below to listen to the Game interview With Jenny Boom Boom. He talks about beefing with Jay Z, and winning beefs with Joe Budden & Lloyd Banks and claims 50 stole his swag.

BOW WOW & SOULJA COON PERFORM ON 106 & PARK

Check out Bow Wow as he performs Fresh Azimiz & Brings Out Soulja Boy (Omarion’s DSL replacement) To Perform Marco Polo On 106 & Park. Now all they need to do is get Rocsi off the stage, and there could be an all-out gayfest with Bow Wow, Soulja Coon, and Terrence.

LL COOL J ON THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW

NEW VIDEO: NE*YO - MISS INDEPENDENT

Check out the video for Ne*Yo's second single, Miss Independent.

SNOOP FROM THE WIRE ARRESTED

Felicia “Snoop” Pearson, the actress who played a cold-blooded killer of the same name on the HBO series The Wire, was arrested on minor drug charges yesterday after police picked her up for refusing to cooperate as a witness in a murder trial, records show.

Members of the homicide unit forced entry into the 28-year-old’s Northeast Baltimore home Wednesday morning to serve a “body attachment” warrant, which would allow authorities to detain her, if necessary, until the Sept. 16 murder trial of Steven James Lashley.

Once inside the home, police said, they found two cigars containing suspected marijuana in an upstairs bedroom, and “loose plant material” was recovered from the top of a kitchen cabinet. Pearson was charged with one count of drug possession yesterday and was being held at Central Booking.

Authorities said Pearson watched Lashley stab three men, killing one, after an argument that began outside New York Fried Chicken on The Block in the fall of 2005, and she is expected to be called as a witness during the trial.

CELEBRITY SPOTTING: ARETHA FRANKLIN

A few days ago, Aretha Franklin Performed at the Ross School in East Hampton, NY. She was also wearing my mother's drapes as a dress. Someone get her on the Star Jones slim fast diet stat!

TEN BEST SUMMER SONGS

Time magazine has released their list for what they believe are the “10 Best Songs of Summer”. Check out the list below.

1. Kid Rock - “All Summer Long”
2. Rihanna - “Disturbia”
3. Usher - “Love in This Club”
4. Estelle - “American Boy”
5. T.I. - “No Matter What”
6. Leona Lewis - “Bleeding Love”
7. Lil Wayne - “A Milli”
8. Pussycat Dolls - “When I Grow Up”
9. Coldplay - “Viva La Vida”
10. Katy Perry - “I Kissed a Girl”

As many songs RiRi had out this summer, I'm surprised she's not number one. The Kid Rock song I've never heard of, so maybe that song was HUGE on the country charts since they are the dominant music force in American culture at the moment.

DMX WANTS SPECIAL PRIVILEGES IN PRISON

Word on the street is that DMX, who’s currently locked up in a Miami prison, after one too many arrests is so desperate for some Mc Donalds, that he literally begged a guard for a Big Mac last week. The perennially locked up rapper has spent so much time behind bars recently that he is sick of the prison food that is available.
Well your donkey ass should have thought of that before you acted like you were above the law. Besides, the food they give in prison is fine cuisine compared to the crap they put in McDonalds food.

TRAPPED IN A PADDED ROOM

Joe Buddens uses Hannibal Lecter as inspiration for the cover of his new cd, titled "Padded Room." The cd is slated to be released in September. What do you guys think of the cover?

Artamis_vardamir

Mucha Leche

Don't know why I was so horned up, but this was the third one that day....tell me if you liked it.

DA BRAT GET'S THREE YEARS IN PRISON

Normally, I'm all for this kind of bhavior in a club, but in Da Brat's case, not so much. The hip hop bull dyke extraodinaire just got three years in prison for hitting a bitch over the head with a bottle of rum. I can see doing six months, but three years? That's just freakin' ridiculous. Maybe if she would have snitched on someone (or refused to like Lil Kim), she would have gotten less. Oh well, at least behind bars, she'll be right at home with all her gayelle cellmates.

JESSE McCARTNEY DEFINITELY KNOWS HOW TO PERSUADE THE LADIES

Here's a bit of advise. If you're trying to transition as an artist from a teen pop star to a young adult, you don't do it by giving a 10 year old (and future librarian) a lap dance. Jesse McCartney was performing a concert at the Nokia It always annoys me when these teen pop singers try too hard to act so grown and it always comes off forced and ridiculous. Jesse McCartney was performint a concert at
the Nokia Theater in NYC when a little something conservatives call INAPPROPRIATE went down. Click the video below to watch.

FAITH IS MY KIND OF GIRL

R&B singer Faith Evans has an autobiography coming out this week and in it she talks about how she dealt with being cheated on repeatedly by her ex, the late Biggie Smalls. Instead of taking revenge out on Biggie by maxing out his credit cards and burning his clothes like Angela Bassett in "Waiting to Exhale," Faith exercised her demons in her own special way. She writes, "I thought maybe kicking some ass would get the word out that chicks better think twice before messing with my husband."

Faith went so far as to get on a plane just to beat a bitch down. She writes that she once caught the red-eye to Virginia and found a girl in his hotel room. "I jumped on top of her and started beating her ass . . . 'Yo, Ma you need to chill!' Big said, 'I didn't even fuck her!' I mashed her in the face and then kicked her. 'Yeah, well, you should have,' I said." Well, I guess that's one way of handling the situation. I probably would have ordered room service and watched pay-per-view, but that's just me.

She sometimes didn't even bother doing her research! When she found a picture and phone number of some ho in Biggie's car, she found out where the chick lived, showed up and delivered "a brief but thorough beat-down."

Faith's legendary beat downs came across celebrity chicks a well. Now I've always wondered when Biggie cheated on her with rapper Lil Kim, how did she handle it. She never talked about it until now. In her book, she writes about how she broke into Biggie's apartment, found him in bed with the Queen Bee and then proceeded to fuck her up. "I grabbed some chick out of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick's wig came off in my hand: It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It Lil' Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room. 'So you're not fucking her, right?' I screamed at Big. 'Yeah, you not messing with her anymore right?'"

Damn. Kim even wears wigs to bed? she probably didn't wear her natural face to bed either, and you know all this drama went down long before Kim could afford new titties, a new nose, cheeks, neck, eye balls, eye lids, lips (why do I feel like while describing all of her facial reworking I'm humming Kylie's "Speakerphone?")

COULD THIS HAPPEN TO AMY WINEHOUSE NEXT?

Remember K-Ci & JoJo, the once-hot male group from the 90's? Well the cracked out R&B singers were performing in Australia when JoJo collapsed on stage in the middle of a performance. I have no idea what could have been the cause of JoJo's faintation, but from the picture below of Heidi Montag on the set of her video for "Overdosin' " with her pad hanging out of her leotard, I can pretty much guess what he got a whiff of.



Click below to watch it all go down.

walther7_65

NullFlux

This Is Where I Work

MADONNA: HUMAN NATURE FT. BRITNEY SPEARS

Madonna's Sweet & Sour tour kicked off in Cardiff today, and here's footage of Human Nature ft. Britney Spears. The second video is highlights from the tour.





- Vogue



- Get Stupid Remix



- Into the Groove


4minutes

WORLD PREMIERE: CASSIE - OFFICIAL GIRL

Here's the video from Cassie's sophomore cd. The single is titled "Official Girl" ft. Lil Wayne.

Cassie F/ Lil' Wayne "Official Girl'
Uploaded by ThomasCrownChronicles

WORLD PREMIERE: P!NK - SO WHAT

You guys have no idea how glad I am that P!nk is back with a new cd. Her new music won't be released until October, but she has world premiered her video for "So What" for all us to see. She not only looks amazing, but the video is phenomenal. I love how fearless she is, and that she's not afraid to take chances musically and artistically. Pay close attention, because her ex husband Carey makes a cameo in the video as well. Now that's not something you see very often. Shows that he's a great sport.

Pink - So What [Official Music Video]
Uploaded by JiiBEY_

hornymusclestud

Showing off my muscles and cock

akil81

a short video with a cum in my face

CHECK OUT THE CHO SHOW

My girl Margaret Cho is coming to VH1 with The Cho Show. The show premieres tonight @ 11 PM, but you can watch the whole first episode online now at VH1.com.

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Smoothy121

Here is another vid of my ass getting pounded. This time my little dick has some cum squirt out while I am getting fucked. Enjoy!!!

IS RIHANNA GOING BROKE???

According to RiRi's ex-business manager, RiRi only has $20,000 to her name!

Patricia Williams, RiRi's supposed ex-business manager, was let go recently when RiRi and her management found out she was going broke. RiRi immediately accused Patricia of stealing from her. Patricia said, "It’s not my fault that she only has $20,000 to her name. I showed her all the paperwork and tried to explain to her the circumstances but she wouldn’t listen. She called me all sorts of horrible names and stormed off. I now feel compelled to share with the world the background story as I will not allow my name to be slandered."

Patricia went on to explain that Def Jam doesn't "fund Rihanna properly," so all the money she makes from endorsements and tours is used to pay for her albums and music videos. Patricia claims RiRi made around $1 million last year and all of it was spent making her music videos.

Visit Blackarazzi to read everything Patricia supposedly said. It's fucking long.

Well, RiRi better get to putting out more cd's or at least penning some songs. Everyone knows the real money is in the songwriting.

HOW BRITNEY LOST 12 POUNDS IN 30 DAYS

Britney appears on the cover of OK! Magazine this week (AGAIN) with a new body and a new weaveologist. She also let's everyone in on how she "got her body back."

Britney claims she lost the weight from (ready for this?) exercising and eating healthy. Cheeto, please! The day Brit Brit starts eating healthy is the day the entire snack food industry crumbles into the ground.

She said, "My diet has a lot to do with my getting into shape. I have no sugar. I don't eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I'll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it's not much, but it's actually a lot of food if you eat the right things."

She also spends 10-minutes a day playing "Dance Dance Revolution." That's her exercise.

Well however you lost the weight, you look great. I hope Brit Brit's been in the dance studio as much as she's been in the recording studio.

MORE BRENDA WALSH

Another short promo featuring Shannen Doherty has been released, to get viewers to watch the new 90210 series. I must warn you, there are spoilers in the next paragraph, so if you don't want to know Why Brenda left Beverly Hills, skip the next paragraph.

Back in the day, Brenda left Beverly Hills to pursue her dream of being an actress in London. Well, apparently Brenda has become a famous theater actress and director who lives in London and New York. HA! Um...we all saw her "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" audition. She's no Tallulah Bankhead.

Kelly Taylor, who is a counselor at West Bev, convinces Brenda to return to Beverly Hills to direct the high school musical. Brenda takes her offer and directs the kids in a high school version of the Broadway musical "Spring Awakening."

As long as there will be catfights and bitchy dialogue, I don't care if she directs a broadway revival of "Hair."

HOLLYWEIRD PREPARES TO MASSACRE YET ANOTHER CLASSIC

First they plan to fuck up the "A Nightmare on Elm Street" remake by allegedly casting Billy Bob Thornton as Freddy Krueger. Now, the assholes over at MGM have given permission to remake the classic, 1982's "Poltergeist." The studio has hired Juliet Snowden and Stiles White to write a script. Those two wrote a shitty film named "Boogeyman." which starred 7th Heaven's Barry Watson. They are also currently looking for a director.

Steven Spielberg co-wrote the original script about "a suburban home built over an Indian burial ground and thus inhabited by a nasty spirit." The original starred Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Dominique Dunne and Heather O'Rourke. "Poltergeist" also spawned two sequels.

Why would you touch a film that had a reputation for being cursed! Heather and Dominique died after the film's release. Will Sampson, one of the stars of the sequel, performed an exorcism on the set to get rid of "alien spirits." He died a year after the sequel was released. I say leave it alone. i was watching "Poltergeist" the other day and the film still holds up. Instead of fucking up yet another classic, how about they dig into the old Hollyweird vaults and find a bad film for once to remake.

SHO'NUFF HAS PASSED AWAY!

Julius J.Carry III, aka Sho'nuff in "The Last Dragon," passed away at the age of 56. Julius died of complications from pancreatic cancer on Tuesday in his Studio City, CA home.

Julius has nearly 60 TV and film credits to his name, but his role as The Shogun of Harlem is what he became most famous for.

He is survived by his wife, mother and brother.

This is so sad. I was a HUGE fan of The Last Dragon. Julius, you will be missed!

RICKY MARTIN PULLS A GAYKEN

Even though Ricky has yet to admit his fondness for the booze and the boys, he has gone on and done something very cunty and found himself a surrogate to sperminate. The "loca" singer is now the father of twin boys, his publicist announced on Wednesday. Word also is the boys were born a few weeks ago.

"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

I wonder if he's going to take care of these babies alone? Hire J.Lo's mother as a nanny? Will he get some help from his boyfriend? Only time will tell.