Here are the two celebritard rules of dating if you're in the business. Rule #1: Never allow your father to give you a list of who you can date (isn't Britney 27? Oh wait...we saw what happened when she picked the guys she liked). Rule #2: When you're dating a small group of guys in the business and you're a high profile celebrity don't ever fuck with ANYONE who's had a whiff of Herpes Hilton's infected 'roided downtown lips (or uptown, in case you're in the mood to take a different train).
According to InTouch (via PopCrunch), Daddy Spears made a list of all possible dudes his daughter should date. The list included Benji Madden (who's last girlfriend was the infected creatrure that is Paris), Chace Crawford (gay and fucking with little J from Gossip Girl, who's 16), Jesse Metcalfe (a drunken, gay douchebag loser)and Michael Phelps (who's teeth alone could puncture holes in Britney's snatch if he's a fan of the downtown business). I'm just waiting at some point for Britney to snap again. With Larry Rudolph and Daddy Spears contolling her every move, it's only a matter of time before her zombie computer chip malfunctions and the robot call girl we've grown to love emerges before our very eyes (I'm actually waiting to see who's chip malfunctions first. Brit Brit's or Zombie Kate's).
The source said that Brit's manager, Larry Rudolph, made some calls and Benji seemed the most interested. After a few dates with Benji, Brit Brit likes him. The source said, “They’ve been on a few dates. They met once at The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for dinner in a hotel suite. She appears to like Benji a lot, and he seems to really like her.”
Larry plans to use the new barfmance to promote Brit's album and tour. Did you hear that sound. it's the sound of me trying to keep the acid from my stomach down.
This shit better be a rumor, If it's true, Britney needs to emancipate herself from her father and fire Larry Rudolph a third time. If she's to pussy to leave these control freaks, she better keep a lifetime subscription of Valtrex in her purse.
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