BOUNCY WANTS TO PLAY WONDER WOMAN

Marvel fans of the world, get ready to sharpen your claws and take to the fan site blogosphere because Beyonce wants to play Wonder Woman and has even met with the people at DC Comics and Warner Bros. to massacre the franchise before it even gets off the ground.

Instead of doing like other real thespians and tried to negotiate the role quietly (or even audition a screen test), Beyonce went off and spoke to the L.A. Times about it, "I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It's time for that, right?"

She went on to say that after displaying her raw emotion in dramatic roles like Etta James, Deena Jones and Foxy Cleopatra, she's ready to have a little fun.

"After doing these roles that were so emotional I was thinking to myself, 'OK, I need to be a superhero. Although, when you think about the psychology of the heroes in the films these days, they are still a lot of work, of course, and emotional. But there's also an action element that I would enjoy. I would definitely have to keep it right for that costume. The way that Lynda Carter wore it, she was sooo fine. She was amazing. I saw her costume at the Met. Her waist was unbelievable. It was pretty crazy, actually, her proportions. But I love Wonder Woman and it'd be a dream come true to be that character. It sure would be handy to have that lasso. To make everybody tell the truth? I need that. It would come in very handy."

Wait a minute! Did Beypnce really say all that? I'm sure anyone who's heard her speak in interivews know full well she never sounded like she's ever cracked open a thesaurus let alone taken a speech class.

All she's thinking about is slapping on a cute costume and thinking that's all she's going to do for two hours. Wonder Woman is so much more than that. She also has to remember that for most of the movie she's going to have to act as well. And from her track record Beyonce acting is like taking my sister's used tampons and rubbing it all over my face. I know that's gross, but that's how convincing it is.

Stick to what you do best and do roles that only require you to sing.