On Saturday night, Michael Phelps made history after he won his gazillionth Olympic gold medal. Saint Anyways, Michael's 8 gold medals could earn him up to $100 million in endorsement deals. WTF? For splashing around in a pool?! We're in a recession and somehow they can find $100 million to just give away.
Michael's agent spoke to the Wall Street Journal and, he said, "What is the value of eight golds in Beijing before a prime-time audience in the US? I'd say 100 million dollars over the course of his lifetime." His agent said that he's been getting around 50 offers a day. 49 of those are offers from cougars and gay dudes who want to do the body butterfly with him on their waterbeds. Sounds like one of those offerers is me. I was at the Hudson River pier today, and I was listening to some old gay crows chatting about Michael Phelps. This dude who looked like he needed to be proped up and recussitated tried to read Mikey and said he needed to see a dentist. I actually think his imperfections is what makes him attractive. When you don't have to reach in your mouth and put your teeth in a cup, then we'll talk about who needs some oral work done. Until then, leave Mikey alone.
Anyways, Michael already has deals with Speedo, Hilton and Omega. BTW, it would have been really nice to see the swimmers back in speedos, and not those ugly ass leotards thay have them wearing. leave it up to Beijing to desexualize every fucking thing. One industry expert said that if he leaves Speedo, Nike could pay him up to $50 million.
Well whomever hooks up with Michael (man or woman?), you will definitely be a lucky bitch.
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