Could there be trouble brewing behind the scenes on the upcoming Noah's Arc movie??? The first two are from actor Darryl Steven's blog, and the final posting is director patrik Ian polk's response.
Hey everybody. I know I haven’t been very good about checking in, but we have been SUPER-BUSY out here and my internet access is limited. We’re scheduled to wrap this Friday and things have been going really well…
Actually, things had been going okay. Some of you know I got really sick when we first got here. I caught a fierce cold as soon as I stepped off the plane and could barely speak during the first week of shooting. And then during the ski-tutoring, I crashed into Rodney and messed up my hip. He’s fine (even though he’s still insisting that I did it on purpose), but I’ve been walking around with a limp for the whole movie. And the whole "Black Gay Ski Weekend in Aspen" theme has been looking kind of forced, since there are practically NO black extras in this part of Canada. All the big club scenes have been looking more like Irish pubs than black gay parties. It’s kind of whack.
And speaking of bars… Merwin flew in from Toronto last Friday to shoot all of his scenes this week. He was clearly pissed about the difference in the U.S/Canadian pay rates and he was being really shitty to everybody. He actually went off on a Logo executive at the pre-wrap party last Saturday. And then before anyone could step in and talk him down, he disappeared. Nobody knew where he’d gone. It turns out, he had gone to some other bar, gotten into a fight with some dude and gone to jail (or a holding tank) for the whole night. When he was finally released Sunday morning, his face was so bruised and banged up, they were scrambling all day Sunday to recast him. (He looks a hot tranny mess.) Monday, yesterday, they still hadn’t recast and we ended up missing that whole day of shooting. Now the production is a day behind schedule. I’m assuming they’ve found somebody by today, but there’s apparently now some danger of Logo pulling the plug on the whole production if we go over-budget at all. And missing that one day of shooting has everyone in a panic. The whole set is in a tizzy. It’s really ugly out here.
And then there’s Shemar. Nice guy. Great kisser. But… He has been flying his girlfriend out every weekend. And when she’s here, he refuses to rehearse. Like, he does not come out of his room. At all. It’s weird. I never talk about people like this, but you all are my friends and I need to get this stuff out. Last weekend, his girlfriend (also a hot tranny mess) showed up with this other dude. Sigh… He has Channing Tatum’s voice and swagger and he looks like a mixed race version of that model Jamie Dornan. He is so fucking… ugh! His name is Ashley. We all saw when transpo drove up with Kelly (I think that’s the girlfriend’s name) to the hotel on Friday. Of course, then they all disappeared like Shemar and what’s her name always do. But on Saturday, Ashley--the dude--somehow ended up at the pre-wrap party. The production had given us all drink tickets… I was a little drunk. So I started talking to him… we kind of hit it off. And then, well, you know… I was drunk! I guess Shemar found out and now he’s PISSED at me. Like, not speaking to me at all. So I have no idea how we’re going to shoot all of our scenes this week, IF we even go back into production. And now Patrik is mad at ME, like I did something wrong. Shemar is really being a little bitch about the whole thing and I wish he would get over himself. I was DRUNK!
And then there’s all the recasting. Charles, the guy who is playing Trey in the movie, is sweet. But kind of goofy. And really thin. I mean, I guess it’ll play all right. But the shot I saw of Trey and Alex skiing looked kind of crazy to me. He’s tall and everything, but he’s just super skinny. I don’t know. And he’s Canadian. With that kind of thick Canadian accent. Everything is "going OOTside" and "ABOOT that scene." He’s nice, though. In that Canadian way…
And the new Kenya, Evelyn… Evelyn is a cute little girl. Actually looks kind of like a Miley Cyrus with really curly hair. But she curses like a sailor. I swear, I have never seen anything so cute and small be so foul-mouthed and evil. She’s here with her father, who is clearly an alcoholic. It’s sad to see how his disease is turning his cute little girl into a monster. I can’t talk to either one of them. They depress me.
I don’t know y’all. I was really unsure about the "Black Gay Ski Weekend-Surprise Wedding" storyline from the beginning. Now I feel like it’s just not gonna work. The odds are stacked against us. And I’m still limping! Send us some good vibes and let’s all hope the guy they replaced Merwin isn’t a complete douche bag. I am so over these diva actors.
Oh. And I can’t even talk about the hair extensions. They have me looking like a black, femme Sideshow Bob. And it’s ATTACHED to my head. If it was a wig, at least I could take it off and look like a human on the weekends. Ugh!
This movie is a hot tranny mess.
I’m sure I’m gonna get in trouble for posting this... It will probably have to come down by April 2nd.
Second Darryl Stevens Posting
I had no idea my little April Fool’s prank would go over so well. (Or so terribly, depending on how you look at it.) I was sure that with my "take it down on April 2nd" hint that you would all see right through me. I guess you all have been so starved for information about the film, you were willing to believe even the most ridiculous of stories. (And if you go back and read it again, you will see how preposterous the whole thing was…)
Or maybe you all have put far too much faith in me. Don’t take my word (or any actor’s word) as the Gospel. I am a genuinely good guy. I really do mean well. But when it comes to HARMLESS pranks, I can be totally full of shit and I have no qualms about pulling someone’s leg or yanking someone’s chain. It’s my job to make you believe whatever crap is spewing out of my mouth.
I honestly think you should have known something was "fishy" (as one of my friends said) when I started speaking explicitly about other people’s personal lives. If you know me, you can rest assured that I’m the last person to go running my mouth in public about who someone is sleeping with (me included) or who has a substance abuse problem. Let me go on record now in stating that Shemar is a sweetheart, a professional in every way and that I totally believe his assertions that he is 100% heterosexual. And although it has been noted that Merwin and I had a tiny bit of tension during season 2, (all character related) he is an absolute joy to work with and the LAST person to allow himself to be involved in any type of physical altercation. (You can ask some other cast members about that.) As for Evelyn and Charles, you needn’t worry about them. None of the things I said about them are true either. And Kelly and Ashley are fictional characters from a script I’m writing...
And as for the movie, it has already far exceeded my expectations. It’s playing much funnier and much more emotionally poignant than I ever imagined it would and it is so BEAUTIFULLY shot, I can’t even tell you. Fans of the show are going to love this movie. Obviously, I haven’t seen any of the footage. I’m basing all this on the performances I see happening around me. And there is not one diva actor on this set. Everyone here is lovely. The crew is amazing and even though it’s cold, we’re all keeping warm with laughter and love for these characters.
I was shocked to see how many of you were waiting to hear that the movie was going to suck and that LOGO was just waiting to sabotage the whole "Noah" franchise. Quite the contrary. LOGO has a lot of stake in this film and I think they’ll be very pleased to see what we’ve done so far. So stop doubting. We’re holding it down in Canada. The movie is going to be FABULOUS! Happy April, Fools!
(I realized I couldn’t let this go on any longer when Allan and Willam, both of whom know how silly I am and how I keep the "business" in this very public forum very CLEAN, responded with words of encouragement. I love y’all for the support. But COME ON!)
P.S. I love that a couple of you have picked up on the Channing Tatum reference. Don’t sleep on that white boy!!!
This is a posting taken from "Noah's Arc" creator Patrik Ian Polk's MySpace blog.
Okay, so Darryl posted a blog about some behind-the-scenes drama on the NOAH movie. I’m not going to address the specifics of his blog- it’s his prerogative to share his feelings. But I will say this: you all need to be patient and let us finish doing what we do. See the film and then make up your mind. Don’t condemn us based on anything you hear...wait and see- you might be pleasantly surprised. The fact of the matter is- roles get recast; that’s part of the process. Don’t hold that against us. We’re doing the best we can, and I think the film is turning out great...in spite of any drama behind the camera. Frankly, I’ve never been on a movie set that didn’t have SOME drama, so...par for the course. I could tell you all the dramas we had on seasons one and two, but it’d take a whole novel or two...and those seasons turned out pretty darn good.
So hang in there...wait for the movie and hopefully you’ll all be pleased. Give us a chance...even if it’s not all going to be as you would like or expect it to...
Thanks for your understanding...
I'M LOOKING FOWARD TO SEEING THE NOAH'S ARC MOVIE, BUT WHY THE HELL DID THEY RECAST THE ROLE OF WADE WITH CORNY ASS LITTLE DICK SHEMAR MOORE??? HERE IS SOMEONE WHO ACTS LIKE HE'S BEEN GIVEN THE PLAGUE EVERYTIME THERE ARE GAY RUMORS SWALING AROUND HIM. FROM ONE ACTOR TO ANOTHER TAKE NOTE! NO ONE PUTS A FUCKING GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND TELLS YOU TO TAKE THESE GAY ROLES. IF THEY BOTHER YOU SO MUCH, SIMPLY DON'T TAKE THEM . I'M SO SICK OF THE BULLSHIT EVERYTIME THESE SO-CALLED STRAIGHT ACTORS TAKE A GAY ROLE, THEY ACT LIKE THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN COOTIES. LEAVE THE GAY ROLES TO THE REAL MEN WHO AREN'T AFRAID TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH ANOTHER DUDE. ALSO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL ACTOR WHO PLAYED TREY??? HE WAS PHOINE! OVERALL, VERY FUNNY (AND A BIT TOO CONVINCING APRIL FOOLS JOKE).